Hello all, I’m new to this so bare with me. To say the least I am had an emotional last years. I’ve been dealing with my daughter who is in a bad relationship for now going on over 4 years. Lost my mams in June and my brother in Feb.
my daughters boyfriend has changed her in every way! He’s controlling, talks down to her calling her fat, stupid. She used to take great pride in how she looked and dressed and now every bit of that is gone, he doesn’t like her wearing makeup and very raillery does she do her hair. I know in the past that he’s put hands on her (because she told me the last time she left, she told me a lot! How he spends all their money at the casino, he won’t wk., etc)
Before he came into the picture my daughter was a strong, beautiful woman who had dreams and was working toward them. She was preapproved for her own house loan, working to make a great life for her and her son.
Soon after she moved to an apartment he talked her into cosigning for him a new motorcycle ,he never made a payment and wrecked it with no insurance ( so that all feel to her to pay) she lost her apartment and moved back home( I was okay with that) he soon talked her into moving out with him to a apartment which he lost in 7 months, along with her car. So again she moved back home . No car no $. Again we helped her. And again she left and went back.
Then it started …. We were never invited to see where they were living and I let that go, as long as she and my grandson came over to us I was ok. I mean she is an adult! Well they kept moving from place to place and kept losing them. I have gotten him a really good job which he quit once one of the apartment places wanted to garnish his wages. My daughter has always worked and been the “bread winner” I have tried so many times to talk to her, and him to help them get on a budget. I can never EVER say anything about him not working or really anything because it starts a huge fight with her. She defends him to the core, which just baffles me to my core.
She got pregnant and had his child in Oct. at that time they were living with his mom, all things seemed to be going well, we were talking a lot, doing things together I was happy . I guess it was around Christmas he mad a remark to me that he thinks they need to move away. To start over, I just looked at him. I didn’t put much thought into it because truthfully they had no money because again he isn’t working only her. Welllllll January 15 was the last time I seen my youngest grandson and my daughter, he talked her into moving 3 hours away. 3 hours!!! She didn’t tell me they were planning it, last I heard they were moving into a trailer about 10 miles from me, and now this. ( I have seen my eldest grandson because of his dad thank God , when she moved right before she had gotten in trouble with family services because he was going to school. Well come to find out , his mother kicked them out! She didn’t call me and ask for help and wont because I have told her a million times her and her boys are ALWAYS welcome to come home and me and dad will help them, but I never include the loser boyfriend, I can’t and I won’t. I didn’t it about 2 years in their relationship and he lied and stole. So never again, but anyways they stayed with a friend for about 2 weeks and then moved. There was a argument between us, there was nothing, si I am so confused on why she is doing this to us, I totally believe she hates me!( up till age 23 I swear her n I were very close) she won’t answer the phone when I call, aI have seen the baby or her since Jan. I lost my brother to cancer in Feb. and she didn’t call or come to the funeral, my heart is just broke, I don’t know what to say or do. I have read tons of forms and books and I know she is being controlled by him, and I know that she won’t leave him until that light finally goes off. But in the meantime, what do I do. I worry soooooooooo much, I wake all through the night checking my phone, searching her FB to see if she’s on line, waiting for her to say something to me. I miss herL
my daughters boyfriend has changed her in every way! He’s controlling, talks down to her calling her fat, stupid. She used to take great pride in how she looked and dressed and now every bit of that is gone, he doesn’t like her wearing makeup and very raillery does she do her hair. I know in the past that he’s put hands on her (because she told me the last time she left, she told me a lot! How he spends all their money at the casino, he won’t wk., etc)
Before he came into the picture my daughter was a strong, beautiful woman who had dreams and was working toward them. She was preapproved for her own house loan, working to make a great life for her and her son.
Soon after she moved to an apartment he talked her into cosigning for him a new motorcycle ,he never made a payment and wrecked it with no insurance ( so that all feel to her to pay) she lost her apartment and moved back home( I was okay with that) he soon talked her into moving out with him to a apartment which he lost in 7 months, along with her car. So again she moved back home . No car no $. Again we helped her. And again she left and went back.
Then it started …. We were never invited to see where they were living and I let that go, as long as she and my grandson came over to us I was ok. I mean she is an adult! Well they kept moving from place to place and kept losing them. I have gotten him a really good job which he quit once one of the apartment places wanted to garnish his wages. My daughter has always worked and been the “bread winner” I have tried so many times to talk to her, and him to help them get on a budget. I can never EVER say anything about him not working or really anything because it starts a huge fight with her. She defends him to the core, which just baffles me to my core.
She got pregnant and had his child in Oct. at that time they were living with his mom, all things seemed to be going well, we were talking a lot, doing things together I was happy . I guess it was around Christmas he mad a remark to me that he thinks they need to move away. To start over, I just looked at him. I didn’t put much thought into it because truthfully they had no money because again he isn’t working only her. Welllllll January 15 was the last time I seen my youngest grandson and my daughter, he talked her into moving 3 hours away. 3 hours!!! She didn’t tell me they were planning it, last I heard they were moving into a trailer about 10 miles from me, and now this. ( I have seen my eldest grandson because of his dad thank God , when she moved right before she had gotten in trouble with family services because he was going to school. Well come to find out , his mother kicked them out! She didn’t call me and ask for help and wont because I have told her a million times her and her boys are ALWAYS welcome to come home and me and dad will help them, but I never include the loser boyfriend, I can’t and I won’t. I didn’t it about 2 years in their relationship and he lied and stole. So never again, but anyways they stayed with a friend for about 2 weeks and then moved. There was a argument between us, there was nothing, si I am so confused on why she is doing this to us, I totally believe she hates me!( up till age 23 I swear her n I were very close) she won’t answer the phone when I call, aI have seen the baby or her since Jan. I lost my brother to cancer in Feb. and she didn’t call or come to the funeral, my heart is just broke, I don’t know what to say or do. I have read tons of forms and books and I know she is being controlled by him, and I know that she won’t leave him until that light finally goes off. But in the meantime, what do I do. I worry soooooooooo much, I wake all through the night checking my phone, searching her FB to see if she’s on line, waiting for her to say something to me. I miss herL