The mystery..it's not good
- Thread starter mof
- Start date
mof
Momdidntsignupforthis
I could use some positive thoughts please...son tested clean...we are allowing him for a few months to work towards getting his ducks in a row...because right now his probation officer is 2 hrs away. It takes a few months to get papers transferred.
He will be looking to move somewhere...he just is not healthy for us. Not violent...not lazy...but lying is something I can't tolerate. He ride a bike to work...I'd feel better if he had a car when he leaves...but I don't know what will happen. I know he has 3 yrs and he could prove himself . But not with us.
The most positive thing he has is us and his girlfriend...who is smart enough to give him nothing, except he can stay with her when she can get him...the area is very rural, we have no public transportation. He will put his work before all else..that is his MO...always has been.
I'd how I will fare in the next few months of transition...but I'm tired..tired of hauling around the doubt, resentment . Our children are a part of us...but even though I don't think I can be whole with him here. I hate that our area is small..and he works two miles down the street...maybe he will do better on his own..maybe he won't, an life will once again be taken.
We can't go there...but it is what it is...we co time he to do what we feel is right in the moment.
Thanks mof
He will be looking to move somewhere...he just is not healthy for us. Not violent...not lazy...but lying is something I can't tolerate. He ride a bike to work...I'd feel better if he had a car when he leaves...but I don't know what will happen. I know he has 3 yrs and he could prove himself . But not with us.
The most positive thing he has is us and his girlfriend...who is smart enough to give him nothing, except he can stay with her when she can get him...the area is very rural, we have no public transportation. He will put his work before all else..that is his MO...always has been.
I'd how I will fare in the next few months of transition...but I'm tired..tired of hauling around the doubt, resentment . Our children are a part of us...but even though I don't think I can be whole with him here. I hate that our area is small..and he works two miles down the street...maybe he will do better on his own..maybe he won't, an life will once again be taken.
We can't go there...but it is what it is...we co time he to do what we feel is right in the moment.
Thanks mof
RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Mof
There is only so much we can do for our adult children that keep making the wrong choices. Sometimes it is better that they are not in our home so we don't have to experience their daily struggles along with them - if that is a possibility. I know it has been better for our family and for my mental and physical health.
Two miles on a bike for a healthy young man is not far. I can ride much farther than that myself. You live in a warm area also. I would not feel any guilt about taking your car away when you are not sure what it is being used for. It's not a good situation and can put you at risk.
Hugs and stay strong. You will get through this!
There is only so much we can do for our adult children that keep making the wrong choices. Sometimes it is better that they are not in our home so we don't have to experience their daily struggles along with them - if that is a possibility. I know it has been better for our family and for my mental and physical health.
Two miles on a bike for a healthy young man is not far. I can ride much farther than that myself. You live in a warm area also. I would not feel any guilt about taking your car away when you are not sure what it is being used for. It's not a good situation and can put you at risk.
Hugs and stay strong. You will get through this!
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
My son with a high functioning form of autism rides his bike everywhere during the warm months, including work. It's good exercise. In winter he often walks. We don't have public transportation here. We do have discounted cab rides for the disabled.
I don't think drug users should get behind the wheel of a car. It's dangerous to them and to others on the road. My daughter was forbidden from our cars after her first accident. She had two others
Car accidents, driving friends cars. Sending peers lady $14,000 in personal injury costs. After she was clean for two years her father paid whatever was left of the debt, not until. At least we didn't carry the guilt of allowing her to drive our cars and harming somebody!
A lot is at stake if your child uses and drives, if you aren't rich. Also deaths of others can cause lifelong guilt. Drugs and driving is a serious combination.
I don't think drug users should get behind the wheel of a car. It's dangerous to them and to others on the road. My daughter was forbidden from our cars after her first accident. She had two others
Car accidents, driving friends cars. Sending peers lady $14,000 in personal injury costs. After she was clean for two years her father paid whatever was left of the debt, not until. At least we didn't carry the guilt of allowing her to drive our cars and harming somebody!
A lot is at stake if your child uses and drives, if you aren't rich. Also deaths of others can cause lifelong guilt. Drugs and driving is a serious combination.
mof
Momdidntsignupforthis
We have never purposely allowed him To drive while on drugs. He has never owned a car or had a ticket or accident.
Fact...if u can't put honesty first, then privilege is revoked. Even clean...doesn't matter. Biking will be hard for him...but the job is important he will do it.
We are wondering about a headlight...it is dark at 330 am.
Fact...if u can't put honesty first, then privilege is revoked. Even clean...doesn't matter. Biking will be hard for him...but the job is important he will do it.
We are wondering about a headlight...it is dark at 330 am.
RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
I would get a bike light and some reflectors for the seat and wheels to be safe. When I was young I rode my bike in the dark thinking "cars can see me" but now I realize I cannot see someone on a bike until I'm right on top of them which could be too late! Plus nowadays with people driving and texting, you want to be as visible as possible.
You've done and are doing everything you can do to make him successful - like most of us here. He is so lucky to have you!
You've done and are doing everything you can do to make him successful - like most of us here. He is so lucky to have you!
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
My son never rides at night. Wow. That's early to be dark.
