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Hi Ithurtz, Thank you for your kindness. “Behavior similar to a toddler.” They want their cake and eat it too. But they are not toddlers, they are adults. We wont be around forever to pick up the crumbs. My two are the same, they won’t do anything about their situations. They don’t want to. I...

nwallace, I am so sorry for your loss. May the Lord hold you in His loving arms and comfort you.

Healing, I’m so sorry for your grief and pain. It is so important to get those feelings out. Truthfully. We live in heavily populated Oahu, but word spreads fast on an island. It depends on who is asking on what details I share. I have been surprised at how many people I know who have been...

Oh boy, I have to apologize for hijacking your thread. I’m spouting about removing the emotions from the reality of our kids choices and trying to be stoic, then go into a rant and post a sad song in lyrics and melody. I guess it just goes to show the complexity of the journey we are on and how...

Addition to above reply, which I was trying to edit, but took too long……… How many years spent, how many tears shed, do we realize that sacrificing ourselves will not change our adult children’s choices? Sorry, I’m writing about stepping back from emotions and being pretty dramatic at the same...

Hi Ithurtz, I was having a stoic moment this morning. My dad was a big believer in “It is what it is” and I admittedly vacillate between the emotional rollercoaster of having two adult daughters on the streets and the hard reality that their choices are completely out of my control. I know I...

Most of us have gone through what you are feeling now. Cycling through different emotions and longing for our kids to just be who we remember when times were good. Please do not minimize the trauma you have been through and compare to other’s experiences. You have had some very scary and...

It’s not that our kids hate us, it’s that they will use our love for them to take advantage of us, if we let them. We are easy targets.

This made me chuckle. At least we can laugh. How true that this experience is a circus. A macabre one at that. “My monkey, not my circus.” As we say in Hawaii “Damn keeds!” How could we not have blood pressure issues? Ugh.

Good Lord KSM, I’m sorry this is happening. I have been there as well with my grands. You have been at this a long time. I don’t blame you for feeling angry. It’s not fair to you or the little one.

Active addiction is a super selfish beast. The drive to get high supersedes everything and everybody. After years of my two coming and going, money, heirloom jewelry, time, stolen, I began to realize that they had dehumanized me as much as I had myself. I was nothing more than an opportunity to...

I am so sorry for your aching Mamas heart. This is a hard road to be on, most of us here on CD have been where you are. You have taken giant steps already to protect the peace in your home. It took a long time for me to start the healing process. Many days I felt as if someone had taken me by...

This is one of the quotes that helped me “Nothing changes, if nothing changes.” Put it on your fridge. It’s not to say that your son will change, but you can. Another quote “What you allow, will continue.” And this “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Grief. It is hard stuff...

Hi Newlife, I have also refused phone contact with Tornado when in jail. It was hard, but it was the right decision for my own heath and welfare. Absolutely correct. Are you on Vinelink? It’s a way to keep track of prisoners. I get notifications when Tornado is let out. Stay strong Mama...

Hi Mother 1 and welcome. I am so sorry for your need to be here and for all of the difficult challenges you have faced. It is heartwrenching to watch helplessly as our wayward adult children spin out of control. This is a lot of stress to live with. I know, because I’ve been right where you...

Aloha Seekinghope, I pray this day brings you some peace. I am glad that you and your husband felt reaffirmed in setting healthy boundaries. Whatever the future holds, working together making informed decisions is vital for both of your well being and will strengthen your bond with one another...

Aloha Seekinghope, So sorry for your need to be here but so very glad you found us. You have received some good responses so far. I know personally how difficult it is to have an adult wayward child living far off the normal path and pregnant. It is heart wrenching. I’m sorry you have been...

Hi Newstart, Oh boy, I hope the visit will go smoothly…… So sorry your cruise did not work out. Yup, my father in law was a doozy. The thing was, he was not awful all of the time, but he did some awful things and I knew too much. I was outspoken about his abuse to my mother in law and he...

Hi Dad, Your thoughts and kind response is so appreciated. It has been a challenge with two wayward daughters, that’s for sure. I still get thrown off guard by the reality and the off and on news of them, but it is what it is. I am blessed to have three adult children who are doing well and...