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Midst, I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. It sounds like you have done everything and more to help her, and she has made a choice to live as she is. It's inexplicable and it's heartrending, and I totally understand. There are times when I feel like I can't take another second of not...

Thank Cparker52. Twenty years is a long time to have been going through this. I'm sorry for what you've experienced. I too pray each day and try to live my life as best I can. It involves compartmentalizing the grief so I can do what I need to do each day.

LIT77, Thank you for your concern and your prayers. I'm always sorry to hear of another mother who is suffering through this nightmare. I think the police have a policy of only arresting people for felonies. Josh has been stopped for shoplifting and having drug paraphernalia (spelling?) but...

Fairy Dust, I love what you had to say and agree with it. I hope to make it to the point where I can live by that resolution, without guilt or fear. By God's grace, I hope to do that.

Yes, exactly--that other people see them as "homeless people."

I don't blame you for not wanting to know. I wish I didn't know. Sometimes I'll think of Josh, and I'll start to text him. Then I remember with a start that I can't do that because he no longer has a phone. And I feel the pit of my stomach lurch inside of me once again and the "what if's" hit...

Several weeks ago, I tried the Facebook route to try to reach Josh, through other people who might come across his path. A lot of people saw the photos I posted, and there were several people who were certain they had seen him. One man posted a photo of a man from the back, walking away, and...

Thank you Scout. I'm sorry that you are dealing with the same pain and frustration with your son. Hugs back at you.

I apologize for being away from the site the last few days. We have a new 11 week old puppy, as well as our original dog, and boy do they take a lot of time and energy--it's like having a newborn. Anyway, I have read through the previous posts. New Leaf, I'm so sorry that you are once again...

Yes, I am glad too that Josh (and Joseph) may be using libraries, for the same reason.

Thank you. I guess I just hope and pray that maybe God will bring someone alongside him on a regular basis who might be able to develop some rapport with him and influence Josh in a positive way. I have filed about six missing persons reports over the last year. I do try to "take a break" of...

You've written about doing that before, and it just breaks my heart that that happened to you. That's what I fear would happen even if we could find him in a city like Phoenix with all the homeless population. I couldn't handle that. It would just be more trauma on top of trauma for me. So...

Just about a month ago, I filed another one of half a dozen missing person's reports with the Phoenix police. I didn't hear anything until last Friday afternoon. I was hoping that, as previously happened, any police officer who crossed paths with Josh would call me right away and put his phone...

Thank you Nandina. Just realized I never replied to your post, even though I read it. I try to remind myself that he is not himself any longer because of the drug. I wonder if the Josh I loved and raised is even still "in there." I'm afraid that the combination of mental illness, drugs, and...

Thank you for sharing your story and the story of your sons. Your love for them is very great, and you have definitely suffered because of it. I hope you can find some peace.

Thank you Nandina. I can't tell you how much I appreciate people's prayers right now. I'm thinking I'm going to re-post Josh's picture (taken by a police officer a year ago when he was shoplifting) on some FB pages I posted on last summer and ask people to keep a lookout for him and if seen...

I'm sorry for both of you in the loss of your sons. Living with grief and not allowing to destroy your life is a challenge I am learning about, although our son, as far as I know, is still alive. The holidays and birthdays are the hardest days of the year to get through, and I'm sorry for the...

I'm sorry Scout999 for the distress and heartache you're dealing with. I have no advice to offer, as I think what has been said above is very good counsel. I hope you will be able to set some boundaries to bring some relief to yourself. Please don't allow your son to destroy your marriage.

Yep. Sometimes I have to push the thoughts and images right out of my mind for my own sanity.

Married 44 years. Two adult sons, one of whom is 30 and doing well while living overseas; the other is almost 35, addicted to fentanyl and homeless in Phoenix with no phone. He came to us through adoption at four months old and was a wonderful child. Started to fall apart in his early 20's...