18 yr old with MDD, ODD, HPD and BPII trying to join military????

[nikinubs27]

So my son has been in two different In-Patient facilities in the past year and a half, really the first time he was treated or diagnosed with anything. 4 different diagnoses - Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder and Bipolar type II. They are trying to rule out conduct disorder too, but he was discharged thanks to our insurance. He has never actually seen his medical record stating his diagnoses, but I have told him he has 4 listed. Of course, I am a liar. He swears he wants to join the military and is talking to a recruiter. With his history of suicidal and homicidal ideations, and attempts to kill me and himself on multiple occasions, I would think he could not pass a background check for the military, but then I heard somewhere that unless he admits it to them, they will never know?!?! How is that possible? I can't imagine someone with is history (which includes actual photos of him ripping apart a dead animal with his bare hands) would be welcomed into a setting where he would be trained to kill. He of course denies that he has any issues at all... How can they let people with mental illness just join the military?? He claims to already be working with a recruiter.

 

[susiestar]

The military can only find so much. They don't really have time to search every hospital for every person who tries to enlist. The psychological testing may rule him out. Or it may not. It is fairly easy to get a recruiter to work with you. You just walk into an office or talk to a recruiter at a job fair or an event somewhere and if you show any interest, they are all over you. Another member here has a grandaughter who is waiting to go to basic training. The granddaughter did not reveal all of her mental/medical issues and is starting to worry that maybe she should have. The papers are signed and everything is set, so it is a little bit late for second thoughts. I don't know what will happen.

With your son, the military might be a way to have him go off somewhere and be out of your hair. Could it be the discipline that he would need? I don't know, your instincts would be best on this. I always trust a mother's instincts. The times we make big mistakes are usually times we go against our instincts.

Would your son let you meet his recruiter? Then maybe you could send a letter with your son's info to the recruiter if you felt it was important for him to know? Or you could tell him as the 3 of you chatted. Just a thought.

Welcome to our forum. Please know that you will get a lot of information and ideas. We know that you cannot take everyone's suggestions. No one will get angry if you don't follow their idea or suggestion. I am sorry that you had to seek us out, but very glad you found us.

 

[nikinubs27]

He doesn't live with me, so he does what he wants. He won't tell me any information about the recruiter either. I worry about him in the military, he will either do great and come home and snap-now a trained killer, or he will go and not even make it through basic training because "he's always the victim" it's always someone else's fault. I just get scared of what he will do with the skills taught in the military

 

[nikinubs27]

I also worry about psychiatric testing because he is just sooooo good at hiding it. Making it seem like he is A-OK, when inside he is just waiting to explode! He is very deceitful and he has gotten away with tricking professionals in the past. I have to contact his pcp and i am going to make sure she has those diagnoses in his chart. He went to two different IP-Facilities, neither of which reported to his pcp! I have all of his records from there though. So I will have to get her a copy. I just can't imagine the military not doing extensive check on everyone wanting to join. I figure if he lies and gets past the evaluations, and gets in, it's only a matter of time before he breaks because he can't handle it, i mean if he can't handle my rules and his requirement to wash dishes every other night, he won't be able to keep up with basic training... part of me wants him to get in, so he can see how hard it really is and that it's no joke. But part of me fears he will make it through and end up with more issues, more violent and agressive... It scares me most because he has tried to kill me before already, and he has threatened my children. I worry if he is gonna snap, it's gonna be on us. Im tired of being scared

 

[Littleboylost]

You have done what you can do. Is there a way to contact the military and notify them in general about your sons attempts to join and provide them with information. They may be able to intervene on his application as it comes in.
He is 18 and it sounds Like he will be heading towards an Antisocial Personality Disoorder diagnosis. (ODD and CD are used under 18). I doubt he will make it through basic training.

 

[GoingNorth]

It depends a lot on the branch and the recruiters he is working with. When my husband enlisted in the early 80s, during the Cold War, his background was carefully checked. He submitted his medical history going back to his childhood, and had to get a waiver because he had taken a tricyclic antidepressant for sleepwalking as a small child.

Admission to an inpatient facility is normally an automtic no-go for enlistment. If he is going for a position that requires a clearance, they will find the admissions. However, with his "temperament", it is likely he is going for something that involves as much killing as possible. Depending on the MOS, his mental health may be screened more or less intensively.

If you have his SSN#, there may be a way to contact recruiting command and warn them about the situation. Whether or not they'll follow up or even listen to you is entirely another story.