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19 yr old son is suffering, not sure how to help him.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 617386" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Chrissey, perhaps finding some support for <u>you</u> may help you to let your son deal with his issues on his own. I only have one adult child and it took an 18 month codependency course lead by therapists and a whole lot of support for me to learn how to stop enabling her. It is often difficult for us parents to let go as our kids approach adulthood, and if we continue giving and hovering in their lives, we not only send them the unhealthy message that we don't feel that they can handle their own lives, but we create an unhealthy connection with adults who should be making their own choices in their own ways without us. There is a point in our kids lives where we need to begin letting go and encouraging them to launch out of our homes on their own. </p><p></p><p>Your son sounds as if he has a good head on his shoulders and is well liked and a good guy. At 19, I think many kids have a bit of an awakening to the reality of life and sometimes that can take them aback for awhile until they learn how to negotiate this new territory called adulthood. He may not know which way to go and at this point, if he doesn't want to include you in his journey, you must let go and allow him to grow up on his own terms. You worrying about him does not help him or you, it just robs you of your present moments, and you can't get those back. </p><p></p><p>It may help you to find professional help to help you to deal with your adult daughter and your adult son......what we have found here on the adult end of this site, is that it is often up to US to change, to change the way we respond to our adult kids and that alone changes our lives and ultimately may help to change our children as well. Letting go is very hard on us and most of us need a lot of help to do it. </p><p></p><p>Chrissey, wishing you peace as you wander through this detachment process.................hang in there and keep posting, it helps.............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 617386, member: 13542"] Chrissey, perhaps finding some support for [U]you[/U] may help you to let your son deal with his issues on his own. I only have one adult child and it took an 18 month codependency course lead by therapists and a whole lot of support for me to learn how to stop enabling her. It is often difficult for us parents to let go as our kids approach adulthood, and if we continue giving and hovering in their lives, we not only send them the unhealthy message that we don't feel that they can handle their own lives, but we create an unhealthy connection with adults who should be making their own choices in their own ways without us. There is a point in our kids lives where we need to begin letting go and encouraging them to launch out of our homes on their own. Your son sounds as if he has a good head on his shoulders and is well liked and a good guy. At 19, I think many kids have a bit of an awakening to the reality of life and sometimes that can take them aback for awhile until they learn how to negotiate this new territory called adulthood. He may not know which way to go and at this point, if he doesn't want to include you in his journey, you must let go and allow him to grow up on his own terms. You worrying about him does not help him or you, it just robs you of your present moments, and you can't get those back. It may help you to find professional help to help you to deal with your adult daughter and your adult son......what we have found here on the adult end of this site, is that it is often up to US to change, to change the way we respond to our adult kids and that alone changes our lives and ultimately may help to change our children as well. Letting go is very hard on us and most of us need a lot of help to do it. Chrissey, wishing you peace as you wander through this detachment process.................hang in there and keep posting, it helps............. [/QUOTE]
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19 yr old son is suffering, not sure how to help him.
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