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Substance Abuse
20 year old ready for next step...and I would love some transitional housing ideas.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 750252" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi.</p><p></p><p>There are sober living homes for which he would qualify. If. He stopped drinking. My son went and he paid $400 or $450 a month. Of course it would vary according to prevailing rents, but typically these places are reasonable.</p><p>This is serious, to me.</p><p></p><p>My way of thinking about my own son is that if I allow what I consider to be unhealthy substance abuse, while he is living with me, I am condoning it. My son does not drink. He uses mj which is legal here.</p><p>To me, this would be serious too. Given that he has had this incident with suicidal ideation, that he handled responsibly, I might add, I would be very concerned if he did not follow through with therapy. Again, by my not insisting, I would see this as condoning his neglecting this essential thing.</p><p></p><p>I will tell you that I lack a whole lot of confidence in what I say. Because I have adhered to what I believed was right and this has meant that my son has been in and out of my home and a rental home I own. And his leaving is very, very hard on him and I. He acquires bad habits when he leaves. And he is largely homeless. And I worry a great deal. But I have not felt a lot of choice here. But maybe I've been wrong. I don't know.</p><p></p><p>This is how I feel. We as their parents have to stand for something. We have to stand for their raising the bar. It can't be okay for them to be drugged or drunk all day in our house or property. It can't be okay that they do not seek or get mental health treatment if they need it. They have to be willing to play ball with us, to live with us, because this is the way of the world. Everything has a cost. And the cost of my son living with me or in a property I own, is that he do what he needs to do to be healthy and to become productive and self-sustaining. He knows where I stand. If he does not consent, then don't come back. That is how I feel.</p><p></p><p>Actually. This has not worked so good. But I keep sticking to my guns.</p><p></p><p>I think you are thinking correctly about this situation. I know how hard it is to negotiate this with another parent or interested adult, who may have different views.</p><p></p><p>I don't know why your son does not qualify for Job Corps. My son went. My understanding is that the cut off age is 26. My understanding is that there are NOT qualifications. Except about active drug use. Are you sure your son does not qualify? I think Job Corps is wonderful. My son was not so thrilled. But he did complete the program. I told him he could not come home if he did not. So he did.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 750252, member: 18958"] Hi. There are sober living homes for which he would qualify. If. He stopped drinking. My son went and he paid $400 or $450 a month. Of course it would vary according to prevailing rents, but typically these places are reasonable. This is serious, to me. My way of thinking about my own son is that if I allow what I consider to be unhealthy substance abuse, while he is living with me, I am condoning it. My son does not drink. He uses mj which is legal here. To me, this would be serious too. Given that he has had this incident with suicidal ideation, that he handled responsibly, I might add, I would be very concerned if he did not follow through with therapy. Again, by my not insisting, I would see this as condoning his neglecting this essential thing. I will tell you that I lack a whole lot of confidence in what I say. Because I have adhered to what I believed was right and this has meant that my son has been in and out of my home and a rental home I own. And his leaving is very, very hard on him and I. He acquires bad habits when he leaves. And he is largely homeless. And I worry a great deal. But I have not felt a lot of choice here. But maybe I've been wrong. I don't know. This is how I feel. We as their parents have to stand for something. We have to stand for their raising the bar. It can't be okay for them to be drugged or drunk all day in our house or property. It can't be okay that they do not seek or get mental health treatment if they need it. They have to be willing to play ball with us, to live with us, because this is the way of the world. Everything has a cost. And the cost of my son living with me or in a property I own, is that he do what he needs to do to be healthy and to become productive and self-sustaining. He knows where I stand. If he does not consent, then don't come back. That is how I feel. Actually. This has not worked so good. But I keep sticking to my guns. I think you are thinking correctly about this situation. I know how hard it is to negotiate this with another parent or interested adult, who may have different views. I don't know why your son does not qualify for Job Corps. My son went. My understanding is that the cut off age is 26. My understanding is that there are NOT qualifications. Except about active drug use. Are you sure your son does not qualify? I think Job Corps is wonderful. My son was not so thrilled. But he did complete the program. I told him he could not come home if he did not. So he did. [/QUOTE]
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20 year old ready for next step...and I would love some transitional housing ideas.....
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