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4 year old monster.... is it my fault?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 601244" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You are an adult. I know how intimidating family can be, but they raised you and now it's your turn to raise your own child without listening to their "helpful" advice. I would put him back in AWARE. He obviously has some issues (again) that are not related to your parenting. If your family doesn't like it, tough. Detach from telling them every detail and detach from THEM if they are in denial. YOU are not in denial. That is brave of you and cowardly of them. I'm glad your son has YOU on your side.</p><p></p><p>There is no way for any of us to diagnose your son, but with the very limited information you gave me, he sounds like there is a good chance he could have Aspergers Disorder...these are smart but very differently wired kids who get frustrated fast and often do well in school (at first) but can not relate to other human beings well. They need help understanding how to socialize and fit into a world that confuses them and makes them act out.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand, hurting an animal is a big red flag for an attachment disorder too. You really need to get this child completely evaluated. Don't mention it to your extended family. They don't have to know. Either take him to a university center that has a bunch of qualified people who can test him in each area or take him in one fell swoop to a neuropsychologist (the university hospital is still the best way to go). I don't know if you have Medicaid, but if you do, university hospitals are Medicaid friendly. </p><p></p><p>Your son can not go on getting no help just because your mother, grandmother, kissing cousin, or BFF who has no clue doesn't think you should get him extra help. You need to tune out their advice and do what is right. Kindergarten is coming up and he should be getting ready for it, possibly with accommodations to help him adjust. He needs to start working on that frustration level so that he does not hurt kids in kindergarten when he gets there or that he at least has a behavioral IEP in place. To get any services you need a diagnosis that goes beyond just ADHD/ODD. And I think his behavior is beyond just ADHD/ODD anyway.</p><p></p><p>You sound young and it is sooooooooo easy when you are a young mother to listen to your own mother, but she was brought up during a time when having a disordered child was shameful and there was little help.That is not the case anymore and there is oodles of help for children like your son.Call the school district and ask if they have any Early Education for children like him. And make an appointment. today to see either a neuropsychologist or a universal hospital testing team. Don't delay. The longer you do, the worse it gets. These behaviors will probably never go away on their own, without intervention.</p><p></p><p>I would not be shocked to hear that his diagnosis is Aspergers Syndrome.</p><p></p><p>Do not trust school personnel, a plain therapist or a counselor to try to diagnose. They are not trained to do the right testing and legally can not diagnose. Go for the big guns--psychiatrists, neuropsychs, testing teams headed by a neuropsychologist. </p><p></p><p>It is a common trait for Aspies to have phenomenal rote memories. My son learned how to sight read by two. I thought he was a genuis until I realized that although he was great at memorizing words (he still has a great memory for rote memory), he had no idea what his reading meant. Your son repeating things you said over and over is a symptom of the spectrum. </p><p></p><p>Again, keep anything you do from your family. They may mean well, but they are not advising you in your child's best interest.</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted!!! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 601244, member: 1550"] You are an adult. I know how intimidating family can be, but they raised you and now it's your turn to raise your own child without listening to their "helpful" advice. I would put him back in AWARE. He obviously has some issues (again) that are not related to your parenting. If your family doesn't like it, tough. Detach from telling them every detail and detach from THEM if they are in denial. YOU are not in denial. That is brave of you and cowardly of them. I'm glad your son has YOU on your side. There is no way for any of us to diagnose your son, but with the very limited information you gave me, he sounds like there is a good chance he could have Aspergers Disorder...these are smart but very differently wired kids who get frustrated fast and often do well in school (at first) but can not relate to other human beings well. They need help understanding how to socialize and fit into a world that confuses them and makes them act out. On the other hand, hurting an animal is a big red flag for an attachment disorder too. You really need to get this child completely evaluated. Don't mention it to your extended family. They don't have to know. Either take him to a university center that has a bunch of qualified people who can test him in each area or take him in one fell swoop to a neuropsychologist (the university hospital is still the best way to go). I don't know if you have Medicaid, but if you do, university hospitals are Medicaid friendly. Your son can not go on getting no help just because your mother, grandmother, kissing cousin, or BFF who has no clue doesn't think you should get him extra help. You need to tune out their advice and do what is right. Kindergarten is coming up and he should be getting ready for it, possibly with accommodations to help him adjust. He needs to start working on that frustration level so that he does not hurt kids in kindergarten when he gets there or that he at least has a behavioral IEP in place. To get any services you need a diagnosis that goes beyond just ADHD/ODD. And I think his behavior is beyond just ADHD/ODD anyway. You sound young and it is sooooooooo easy when you are a young mother to listen to your own mother, but she was brought up during a time when having a disordered child was shameful and there was little help.That is not the case anymore and there is oodles of help for children like your son.Call the school district and ask if they have any Early Education for children like him. And make an appointment. today to see either a neuropsychologist or a universal hospital testing team. Don't delay. The longer you do, the worse it gets. These behaviors will probably never go away on their own, without intervention. I would not be shocked to hear that his diagnosis is Aspergers Syndrome. Do not trust school personnel, a plain therapist or a counselor to try to diagnose. They are not trained to do the right testing and legally can not diagnose. Go for the big guns--psychiatrists, neuropsychs, testing teams headed by a neuropsychologist. It is a common trait for Aspies to have phenomenal rote memories. My son learned how to sight read by two. I thought he was a genuis until I realized that although he was great at memorizing words (he still has a great memory for rote memory), he had no idea what his reading meant. Your son repeating things you said over and over is a symptom of the spectrum. Again, keep anything you do from your family. They may mean well, but they are not advising you in your child's best interest. Keep us posted!!! :) [/QUOTE]
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