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A few knotts in my neck
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 751727" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Copa,</p><p></p><p>You are correct, he has been verbally abusive but not directly threatening. Even my therapist suggested a restraining order but I don't feel I'm ready for that at this time. This son, "is a lot of talk" he is literally afraid of his own shadow so I don't feel threatened by him at this time.</p><p></p><p>I truthfully am not quite sure if he understands what's happening right now. I'm not sure he's learning anything yet. I could be wrong, but I feel he's in flight and fright stage not in "oh, I see she's trying to teach me a lesson" stage. He has not in the least bit "owned" his part of the problem or acknowledged that he needs to be responsible for himself.</p><p></p><p>I feel for now I need to be fully detached from him as a necessary compassionate boundary for me. I believe in my heart that I will know, somehow when the time to begin reconciliation is upon us. It is definitely not now. I would only be submitting myself to more verbal abuse and blame.</p><p></p><p>I also do take some of the responsibility for the way he behaves. It's what he knows typically happens. Verbal abuse, bullying me and making me feel guilty. Then I usually give him money. He's only doing what he's known to have worked for a very long time. He's likely very surprised he hasn't been able to break me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 751727, member: 23405"] Copa, You are correct, he has been verbally abusive but not directly threatening. Even my therapist suggested a restraining order but I don't feel I'm ready for that at this time. This son, "is a lot of talk" he is literally afraid of his own shadow so I don't feel threatened by him at this time. I truthfully am not quite sure if he understands what's happening right now. I'm not sure he's learning anything yet. I could be wrong, but I feel he's in flight and fright stage not in "oh, I see she's trying to teach me a lesson" stage. He has not in the least bit "owned" his part of the problem or acknowledged that he needs to be responsible for himself. I feel for now I need to be fully detached from him as a necessary compassionate boundary for me. I believe in my heart that I will know, somehow when the time to begin reconciliation is upon us. It is definitely not now. I would only be submitting myself to more verbal abuse and blame. I also do take some of the responsibility for the way he behaves. It's what he knows typically happens. Verbal abuse, bullying me and making me feel guilty. Then I usually give him money. He's only doing what he's known to have worked for a very long time. He's likely very surprised he hasn't been able to break me. [/QUOTE]
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A few knotts in my neck
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