I've been doing pretty good lately with no enabling. I'm kind of like the "addict" and know how long it's been since I enabled. It has not been easy but this morning I decided I needed to take the next step and that it was time I stopped my OS from contacting me via my work e-mail with his nasty verbally abusive messages. I realized that this is just another way I allow him "control" over me. I worry and fret all day wondering when/if they will come and how nasty they will be. I'm done with being held hostage emotionally. So, I simply sent an e-mail to him stating that my work has asked me to first ask him "nicely" to stop contacting me this way (which they didn't but if they knew he was, they certainly would say this). Within 20 min. I got two phone calls from him at work (because he's blocked on my cell phone) too. The first one I hung up after just exchanging a few words because I couldn't get much in edge-wise anyways. I remained calm but told him I'm not going to be part of his verbal abuse anymore and I cannot help him financially either. He begged and pleaded and was angry, calling me by my first name then of course, proceeding to tell me I was evil and the worst mother and that all my bad karma was going to come back on me. He said that the minute he got a job I just decided not to help him anymore and that he's going to be walking the streets. The way he said it was as if he was punishing "me". He was like, "you'll see!". Amazingly enough, he mentioned in his hysteria that he's been working with asbestos and mold and was able to pay off his loan he took out against his car. So, that just goes to show me that he can work but would rather beg and plead and call me names to swindle money out of me thru guilt and shame and humiliation. I'm certain he's still struggling but I'm continuing to pray to God for strength. Trust me, I continue to pray for him as well, even with all the horrible things he says to me and the constant disrespect that he thinks is fixed with a simple "I'm sorry". There is no telling him that I need to see long-term change. He is so blocked off right now he has tunnel vision. Maybe someday we can have that conversation but now is definitely not the time. Just hoping to hear some words of encouragement and strength from those of you who have been through this.