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A parent solution...thoughts?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 748580" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Newstart</p><p></p><p>I did this too for my son who is now 30. It has not worked. We had some of the same problems.</p><p></p><p>How is it that your daughter got on board paying rent? What changed? Do you charge her market rent? Is it hard on you to see the house trashed/destroyed/or dirty? Do you look the other way? Does she drink or use marijuana or drugs? If so, how do you deal with that? One reason it has not worked is that one, we have been too hands on. We have had rules. My son listens to NOTHING I want.</p><p>Looking back it has always been better, out of sight out of mind. My son can take care of himself. He wants to live as he wants to live. The only huge problem is money management. He chooses to not pay rent, to use more money for marijuana. That was one reason I kicked him out. After years of not paying rent, I had enough. I was subsidizing the marijuana use. I could not look the other way.</p><p>I do not have nerves of steel. I am reactive and emotional. The last time I kicked him out he was coming back to the house during the day and laying around in the yard, high. When I saw what he was doing I kicked him out on the spot.</p><p></p><p>The thing is my son goes borderline homeless when he leaves here. For 8 months he slept in a friend's truck. For the past 2 months he has slept in somebody's shed. </p><p></p><p>This just keeps getting worse and worse. I understand why you are doing what you are doing. There is no way to win in our situations. It is just so hard.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 748580, member: 18958"] Hi Newstart I did this too for my son who is now 30. It has not worked. We had some of the same problems. How is it that your daughter got on board paying rent? What changed? Do you charge her market rent? Is it hard on you to see the house trashed/destroyed/or dirty? Do you look the other way? Does she drink or use marijuana or drugs? If so, how do you deal with that? One reason it has not worked is that one, we have been too hands on. We have had rules. My son listens to NOTHING I want. Looking back it has always been better, out of sight out of mind. My son can take care of himself. He wants to live as he wants to live. The only huge problem is money management. He chooses to not pay rent, to use more money for marijuana. That was one reason I kicked him out. After years of not paying rent, I had enough. I was subsidizing the marijuana use. I could not look the other way. I do not have nerves of steel. I am reactive and emotional. The last time I kicked him out he was coming back to the house during the day and laying around in the yard, high. When I saw what he was doing I kicked him out on the spot. The thing is my son goes borderline homeless when he leaves here. For 8 months he slept in a friend's truck. For the past 2 months he has slept in somebody's shed. This just keeps getting worse and worse. I understand why you are doing what you are doing. There is no way to win in our situations. It is just so hard. Thank you for posting. [/QUOTE]
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