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A question about holidays
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 741769" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>This is a good question and and one I have thought a lot about. I have two children. My son who has been troubled and and addict for a long time and my daughter who is younger but is very together and always has been. My daughter, for very good reasons is very angry with my son for some past history of her own as well as how he has treated and behaved towards us. She basically wants nothing to do with him. My son has wirtten to her and apologized to her but she basically doesnt buy it and still wants nothing to do with him. For quite a while this just kind of broke my heart and I really hoped that at some point they would reconcile and I could have the pleasure of being with both of my kids. In the meantime we have celebrated holidays with them separately which is sometimes difficult for someone. I felt given the circumstances I needed to respect where my daughter was at and also I realized that really their relationship is theirs to resolve, not mine to resolve.</p><p></p><p>Not too long ago my daughter told me that she loved me more than she hated him so that if I needed her to be with him she would for my sake. I was touched by this. However after he was living here, and moved out and I realized that he had stolen something from me that was a wedding present from my father that I could not recover, I realized that she cannot trust him in any way. That especially if he is using, but even if he is not, if he wants something he might very well screw her over to get it. So she has every right to protect herself by not seeing him. It was kind of a game changer for me. He is my son and I will always love him and I will continue to make the choice to be in relationship with him, but she does not have to do that. So at this point I have accepted that we do not see them together. </p><p></p><p>It is a very sad thing to me..... and will always be one of the saddest things to me. I have a hope that someday if he really gets his life together and can prove himself that they can reconcile in some way and that I will have my family back together again...... but I am not counting on it at all.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 741769, member: 15801"] This is a good question and and one I have thought a lot about. I have two children. My son who has been troubled and and addict for a long time and my daughter who is younger but is very together and always has been. My daughter, for very good reasons is very angry with my son for some past history of her own as well as how he has treated and behaved towards us. She basically wants nothing to do with him. My son has wirtten to her and apologized to her but she basically doesnt buy it and still wants nothing to do with him. For quite a while this just kind of broke my heart and I really hoped that at some point they would reconcile and I could have the pleasure of being with both of my kids. In the meantime we have celebrated holidays with them separately which is sometimes difficult for someone. I felt given the circumstances I needed to respect where my daughter was at and also I realized that really their relationship is theirs to resolve, not mine to resolve. Not too long ago my daughter told me that she loved me more than she hated him so that if I needed her to be with him she would for my sake. I was touched by this. However after he was living here, and moved out and I realized that he had stolen something from me that was a wedding present from my father that I could not recover, I realized that she cannot trust him in any way. That especially if he is using, but even if he is not, if he wants something he might very well screw her over to get it. So she has every right to protect herself by not seeing him. It was kind of a game changer for me. He is my son and I will always love him and I will continue to make the choice to be in relationship with him, but she does not have to do that. So at this point I have accepted that we do not see them together. It is a very sad thing to me..... and will always be one of the saddest things to me. I have a hope that someday if he really gets his life together and can prove himself that they can reconcile in some way and that I will have my family back together again...... but I am not counting on it at all. TL [/QUOTE]
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