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Parent Emeritus
Adoptive parents: Would you do it again?
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<blockquote data-quote="ksm" data-source="post: 748720" data-attributes="member: 12511"><p>I hope in the future I can say I'm glad we adopted our granddaughters. But, if some one asked me today, I would probably say no.</p><p></p><p>They are 19 and 21. The 21 year old has been diagnosis with ADHD, anxiety and depression as a child. Then ODD, mood disorder and finally bipolar. The 19 year old had anxiety and depression, then ODD, then self harming, drug addiction, including meth by age 16. Hell of a ride.</p><p></p><p>They are both out of the house now but not really adulting. They both gravitate toward quick relationships that are not healthy. I believe they both have some form of attachment disorders.</p><p></p><p>I always felt like something wasn't right, but we never really got the help (oh how I tried!) they should have had. </p><p></p><p>I can hope for improvements in the future, but right now, we are just the people with a house that holds their stuff while they think they are adults. Neither holds a job for very long... Couch surfs... Etc...</p><p></p><p>I am detaching more and more, as I realize they only call if they need a ride, or are hungry, or crash here on rare occasions. They know we won't give them money...not even for birthdays, but we will buy them basics, like shoes, toiletries when a gift giving time rolls around.</p><p></p><p>This is not how I dreamed things would go. We were so active with the girls! We did children/family theater, active in church, volunteered together. Four summers we lived out of state so we could volunteer as a family. It's like they turned out like bio mom, our xdil. Her own parents won't have contact with her... </p><p></p><p>Ksm</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ksm, post: 748720, member: 12511"] I hope in the future I can say I'm glad we adopted our granddaughters. But, if some one asked me today, I would probably say no. They are 19 and 21. The 21 year old has been diagnosis with ADHD, anxiety and depression as a child. Then ODD, mood disorder and finally bipolar. The 19 year old had anxiety and depression, then ODD, then self harming, drug addiction, including meth by age 16. Hell of a ride. They are both out of the house now but not really adulting. They both gravitate toward quick relationships that are not healthy. I believe they both have some form of attachment disorders. I always felt like something wasn't right, but we never really got the help (oh how I tried!) they should have had. I can hope for improvements in the future, but right now, we are just the people with a house that holds their stuff while they think they are adults. Neither holds a job for very long... Couch surfs... Etc... I am detaching more and more, as I realize they only call if they need a ride, or are hungry, or crash here on rare occasions. They know we won't give them money...not even for birthdays, but we will buy them basics, like shoes, toiletries when a gift giving time rolls around. This is not how I dreamed things would go. We were so active with the girls! We did children/family theater, active in church, volunteered together. Four summers we lived out of state so we could volunteer as a family. It's like they turned out like bio mom, our xdil. Her own parents won't have contact with her... Ksm [/QUOTE]
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Adoptive parents: Would you do it again?
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