OMG this is my son... everything that u have said is what im going through with him. he is 21. i know i need serious help and cant tell my husband about any of the money thefts or he will throw him out. we have no other family, he has no health ins. and would have no where to go. he gets unemployment of 100.00 a week which i dole out to him as needed. its never enough tho, he keeps stealing our credit cards and debit card. yesterday i sent him to the store to get something and he managed to take out 3 withdrawels from my checking of 60.00, stupid me.............im so lost right now. any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you jackie
OMG this is my son... everything that u have said is what im going through with him. he is 21. i know i need serious help and cant tell my husband about any of the money thefts or he will throw him out. we have no other family, he has no health ins. and would have no where to go. he gets unemployment of 100.00 a week which i dole out to him as needed. its never enough tho, he keeps stealing our credit cards and debit card. yesterday i sent him to the store to get something and he managed to take out 3 withdrawels from my checking of 60.00, stupid me.............im so lost right now. any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you jackie
he is also doing coke, prescription drugs and alcohol. he recently stole our daughters laptop for coke. we managed to buy that back for 220. he has stolen so many items and cash from us. i had a hip replacement surgery back in august and apparently while i was in surgery he got a hold of my discover card and went to walmart 3 times a day and was able to get 100. per day out just by making a damn dollar purchase. he did this for 12 days before i realized what was going on. we are now in the process of filing chapter 7 bankruptcy and hes still stealing from me. i know u must think im a total idiot but my fear is of him trying to kill himself. several yrs ago he overdosed on xanax. when my daughter found him in our hallway he was barely breathing. he wasnt trying to kill himself then he just said the more he took the better he felt. he took 25 of them. now occasionally he will threaten sucicide and it terifies me to death. hes basically got total control of my life. please help me. thank you
haveraratit
New Member
I have so many fears based on this. Fear of suicide, fear of driving and smashing the car on purpose, fear of overdosing. But I keep asking myself when am I going to put a stop to her lies and stealing? Almost all the jewelry I have accumulated in the 30 plus years I have been married, has been stolen and sold for pennies. A coin collection that I have bought back twice, is now gone forever. Money, oh, I am so afraid she is going to put us in financial ruin because we are not going to be able to meet our obligations because she overdraws our account. I think she has none of our checks and then a $500 check clears, or a $900, or a $300. And the credit cards, forget those! I have gotten so many new ones, American Express told me I ran out of the sequence for me and they had to start a new sequence......fraud, lies, thief. And I keep asking myself why? My other children chide me and tell me how wrong I am and why don't I do something to stop her. She was a drug addict. We sent her to rehab. Told out our retirement and saving and stocks. I think she is better, or just really good at hiding it. She is 25 and is going no where fast. I am so sad and scared, and lost and not knowing what to do with her! I want to kick her out, I want to file police (felony!) charges on her, I want her to stop and I want off this merry go round but I love her, she is my child, and I want her to straighten up and get it too! She wasn't raised like the life choices she is making. I need a good evaluation for her , but she is not willing to take the steps. I am lost as a result of all this, the whole family is suffering and my relationship with my husband is suffering. Neither of us know what to do.
Marguerite
Active Member
Two problems, haveraratit.
First, you're enabling. Press charges. Others here have had to do that and that seems to be what is needed to even come close to forcing change. While ever you keep footing the bills, she will keep treating you like a free pass.
Second problem - this is a dinosaur thread and your concerns risk getting lost in someone else's ancient history. Why not start a new thread and introduce yourself? We'd love to be able to help you more effectively.
Marg
First, you're enabling. Press charges. Others here have had to do that and that seems to be what is needed to even come close to forcing change. While ever you keep footing the bills, she will keep treating you like a free pass.
Second problem - this is a dinosaur thread and your concerns risk getting lost in someone else's ancient history. Why not start a new thread and introduce yourself? We'd love to be able to help you more effectively.
Marg
I hear you. My son is 27. I have been saying that I am going to do this and going to do that yet I have procrastinated. My 'kids'...all 3, will use the suicidal talk (I truly believe this) when they know they have pushed the envelope. I am a recovering addict and it is a great possibility that they may die. I have reached a point where I will if I do not step away. I did not stop until I was ready and in my selfishness I did not give consideration to others. I must say that I do not understand this generation of 'entitled' children...steal you blind then cry suicide, lie until they are caught with the hand in the cookie jar before admitting the truth. The begging, the pleading, the manipulation, the threatening, & complete lack of regard for the ones who love them. It is futile. I gave the last year to this chaotic drama so that in the end I did not have to feel guilty about not being home much and giving my time to strangers and meetings for the last 10 years. I am done. I have read a few posts today and am impressed with the way parents have utilized 'tough love'. Now I am ready and willing to take that action. I find it easier to be accountable...even if it is with strangers. So, hello!!!
A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
Henry David Thoreau
A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
Henry David Thoreau
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marine daughter
New Member
oh my gosh its not a good thing but im glad im not alone, i thought it was only me, my daughter will be 32 and four years ago she was doing coke, and i threw her out on the street, she literally had to wait in line to get food at a church and was living in houses no one was living in, I took her back when she said these guys were goiing to make her do prostitution,things turned about for a while, she had a great job, had God in her life, this past year every thing spirled downward again, she lost her job, she got three DUI's and she didnt learn even though she had a DUI and was not suppose to drive she would still take her car thinking she would not get caught, she lived with us (she had been saving her money to buy a place and I liked having her around when she was on the up and up),however, she never gave me a dime,she ate, washed her clothes and a warm place to live anyways, like i said just recently since march things went haywire, well I suspected her doing drugs again, this week she took all my change in my coffee cup and i found my credit cards under her bed, well I threw her butt out, (by the way she was on house arrest for being with two guys letting them drive her car and got pulled over, drugs where in the car, well she left i thought it was strange as so manytimes ive told her to get out but she just ignored me, well then i noticed my beautiful diamond ring was gone, which I had locked up in my closest,,yes i have a bed room in my house with a lock on my closet and then a safe in the locked closet because of her,,,then i realized my lap top that i had never used brand new was gone, as well as an I pad adapter from a new boise cd player i just purchased, i told her just tell me where you sold it so i can get it back and i wont be mad or press charges, well she denied it, so i called the police and i am having her arrested, she will be arrested for leaving the house while on house arrested and larceny. It was the hardest thing i ever had to do, but I felt i had to,,,now after reading what all the readers are going thru i know i did the right things, she does not live by my morales,she is 32 years, it will never stop and she has no respect for me as a parent, I do not have a life nor does my husband i sleep with our bedroom lock, lock things up, I want my life back, my life is not going to revolve around when the next crisis or **** she pulls happens,I should be ablel to leave my things where ever i want in my house and know it will be there in the morning,,,I wasnt brought up this way, my dad was a a marine for 21 years..we never set foot in our parents room..IM done, and if a friend of my was telling me this story and then said but i could nt her arrested i would say your crazy, the abuse will just continue. anyways they are puuting a warrant for her arrest, Im dealing with a very compasionate police officer and she text me and said i have no place to sleep im actually out on the street, well i didn't put her there she put herself there, she wanted to come home i told come on home the police are actually waiting for you and if you have no place to sleep call them up theyll give you a place to sleep, I have the support of my two other children and my husband, i havent told anyone elise in my family and when she does go to jail, i will have to pack up all her stuff and redo the bedrooom over for my own self,,,to move on and not see anyting that reminds me of her, as a still am her mother and it is a very hard thing to do,,,but the right thing,,,,,,,
