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Advice for 18yo moving home
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 733461" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Is he going to live with his grandfather? Is that safe?</p><p></p><p>My best advice is that if you believe in anything bigger than you, give your son over to your higher power. He is 18. If he does wrong, let him learn. Don't rescue him...it does not work. If he won't get on his feet and acts out you may need to put him out on his own, which hurts us often more than them. He is no longer in your control.</p><p></p><p> But you can control YOU. That is the only person you can control. Try to live a good, loved life no matter how things go with your son. He sounds very difficult and any changes in his attitude are up to him. Stand strong and refuse to let him manipulate you. Or he will. Give him a time line for living on your dime like six months. Stick to it no matter how much he whines, and make it shorter if he abuses you with hurtful words. There are homeless shelters. We did not find accommodations for my 19 year old daughter. She found them and was compliant where she lived. She knew we would not fold although this was the hardest thing we ever did. But she used cocaine and meth. She has not used these for about twelve years now. She is a survivor and we are so proud. She has her own house, a career, a great child, a boyfriend who does not use hard drugs.</p><p></p><p></p><p>My own living on my dime rules were No breaking the law (I won't bail you out of jail or get you a lawyer), no drugs in my home including weed even if it's legal, be respectful to the hand that feeds you or feed yourself (there are food pantries, food cards and soup kitchens) and no abuse to anybody. That includes grandpa and strangers. Or you must leave. There are jobs, even if it is fast food. They pay much better than they used to! They we're where my daughter started out. And she eventually took out a loan for a two year certificate and paid it off. About that daughter.....</p><p></p><p>I did have to put my daughter out and she straightened out years ago. But she had no antisocial tendencies.i would not let your son use ADHD and depression, both common disorders, to excuse bad behavior or laziness, especially if he refuses treatment. Many people have both and live good lives and comply with treatment. There is no mental illness that causes one to break the law. Except psychosis and your son is not psychotic. I had severe depression and worked. I did also get social security but I always tried to work and never broke the law. I also have learning g disabilities .my parents didn't care about me and everything I did was the hard way and without emotional support until I met my current awesome husband in my late 30s.</p><p></p><p>Love and light.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 733461, member: 1550"] Is he going to live with his grandfather? Is that safe? My best advice is that if you believe in anything bigger than you, give your son over to your higher power. He is 18. If he does wrong, let him learn. Don't rescue him...it does not work. If he won't get on his feet and acts out you may need to put him out on his own, which hurts us often more than them. He is no longer in your control. But you can control YOU. That is the only person you can control. Try to live a good, loved life no matter how things go with your son. He sounds very difficult and any changes in his attitude are up to him. Stand strong and refuse to let him manipulate you. Or he will. Give him a time line for living on your dime like six months. Stick to it no matter how much he whines, and make it shorter if he abuses you with hurtful words. There are homeless shelters. We did not find accommodations for my 19 year old daughter. She found them and was compliant where she lived. She knew we would not fold although this was the hardest thing we ever did. But she used cocaine and meth. She has not used these for about twelve years now. She is a survivor and we are so proud. She has her own house, a career, a great child, a boyfriend who does not use hard drugs. My own living on my dime rules were No breaking the law (I won't bail you out of jail or get you a lawyer), no drugs in my home including weed even if it's legal, be respectful to the hand that feeds you or feed yourself (there are food pantries, food cards and soup kitchens) and no abuse to anybody. That includes grandpa and strangers. Or you must leave. There are jobs, even if it is fast food. They pay much better than they used to! They we're where my daughter started out. And she eventually took out a loan for a two year certificate and paid it off. About that daughter..... I did have to put my daughter out and she straightened out years ago. But she had no antisocial tendencies.i would not let your son use ADHD and depression, both common disorders, to excuse bad behavior or laziness, especially if he refuses treatment. Many people have both and live good lives and comply with treatment. There is no mental illness that causes one to break the law. Except psychosis and your son is not psychotic. I had severe depression and worked. I did also get social security but I always tried to work and never broke the law. I also have learning g disabilities .my parents didn't care about me and everything I did was the hard way and without emotional support until I met my current awesome husband in my late 30s. Love and light. [/QUOTE]
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