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Advice for 18yo moving home
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 733464" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>If this were us, and my DS or YS were in this situation, I would not take them into my home. Not without clear evidence that they have grown, matured, changed and are ready to abide by house rules. At the same time it doesn't sound like that is what you are doing - you mention he is moving back into your hometown and into another place that your grandfather is renting. Will grandfather continue to live there? If SO, I would hesitate before subjecting (what I am assuming is) an older gentleman to a situation that is likely, as you say, not to go well.</p><p></p><p>But assuming grandfather has found other accommodations and son will be there alone, while it may be "better" than having him under your roof, you will now have to worry about what he will do to the property in addition to the other worries about freeloading, and refusing to meet any of your expectations whatsoever.</p><p></p><p>Since he is 18 I would treat him like any other tenant under the law. If he really screws up and you have to put him out, you may have to follow a formal, legal, eviction procedure with a judge and the whole nine yards. So if you are determined to do this, I'd make him sign a lease, exactly as if he was a stranger. In that lease, spell out all your expectations. That he will not use drugs on the premises. That he will not cause disturbances with noise, parties, and such. That the place will be clean and orderly. That persons not on the lease cannot stay there longer than a few days. That he cannot sublet the place. That rent is x amount and will be paid on time, and if not, there is a late charge. </p><p></p><p>I would not let him live there rent-free under any circumstances. Not only does it set him up to fail, as it seems he still retains his irresponsible and self-centered behaviors, it also doesn't teach him how to meet adult responsibility. If necessary, as SOT mentioned, he can work a fast food job. Even my DS who is a high school dropout without a lick of initiative or conscience in his body, and who is heavy into weed, manages to do that much. Charge a rent that is equal to one weeks worth of fast food net wages if you are concerned about him not being able to pay bills.</p><p></p><p>You can choose to cover utilities if you want to make the early going a little easier for him.</p><p></p><p>I would also consider making this a month to month lease to start, that way you are covered legally if he needs to go sooner rather than later.</p><p></p><p>Hope this helps and I don't mean to sound negative, just realistic. Keep us posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 733464, member: 13303"] If this were us, and my DS or YS were in this situation, I would not take them into my home. Not without clear evidence that they have grown, matured, changed and are ready to abide by house rules. At the same time it doesn't sound like that is what you are doing - you mention he is moving back into your hometown and into another place that your grandfather is renting. Will grandfather continue to live there? If SO, I would hesitate before subjecting (what I am assuming is) an older gentleman to a situation that is likely, as you say, not to go well. But assuming grandfather has found other accommodations and son will be there alone, while it may be "better" than having him under your roof, you will now have to worry about what he will do to the property in addition to the other worries about freeloading, and refusing to meet any of your expectations whatsoever. Since he is 18 I would treat him like any other tenant under the law. If he really screws up and you have to put him out, you may have to follow a formal, legal, eviction procedure with a judge and the whole nine yards. So if you are determined to do this, I'd make him sign a lease, exactly as if he was a stranger. In that lease, spell out all your expectations. That he will not use drugs on the premises. That he will not cause disturbances with noise, parties, and such. That the place will be clean and orderly. That persons not on the lease cannot stay there longer than a few days. That he cannot sublet the place. That rent is x amount and will be paid on time, and if not, there is a late charge. I would not let him live there rent-free under any circumstances. Not only does it set him up to fail, as it seems he still retains his irresponsible and self-centered behaviors, it also doesn't teach him how to meet adult responsibility. If necessary, as SOT mentioned, he can work a fast food job. Even my DS who is a high school dropout without a lick of initiative or conscience in his body, and who is heavy into weed, manages to do that much. Charge a rent that is equal to one weeks worth of fast food net wages if you are concerned about him not being able to pay bills. You can choose to cover utilities if you want to make the early going a little easier for him. I would also consider making this a month to month lease to start, that way you are covered legally if he needs to go sooner rather than later. Hope this helps and I don't mean to sound negative, just realistic. Keep us posted. [/QUOTE]
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