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Parent Emeritus
Advice for 18yo moving home
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 733467" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>We have tried every permutation of this and it has not worked.</p><p></p><p>It reinforces dependency on us.</p><p></p><p>It creates the sense we are responsible</p><p></p><p>It encourages manipulation, dissembling and confrontation.</p><p></p><p>It teaches them that if they act and look forlorn and damaged it will lead to a reward.</p><p></p><p>It gives us the sense that we have the right to create conditions and rules for another adult when we really do not.</p><p></p><p>It creates the wrong idea that we teach, rather than life. Thus leading to resistance. It undermines the real wisdom that needs to come from within, in response to lived experience.</p><p></p><p>It disempowers both parent and adult child.</p><p></p><p>It forces the parent to make support conditional....contrary to the human female heart which is to give freely. (Sexism unintended. But I am female.)</p><p></p><p>It destroys relationships.</p><p></p><p>It leads to despair.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 733467, member: 18958"] We have tried every permutation of this and it has not worked. It reinforces dependency on us. It creates the sense we are responsible It encourages manipulation, dissembling and confrontation. It teaches them that if they act and look forlorn and damaged it will lead to a reward. It gives us the sense that we have the right to create conditions and rules for another adult when we really do not. It creates the wrong idea that we teach, rather than life. Thus leading to resistance. It undermines the real wisdom that needs to come from within, in response to lived experience. It disempowers both parent and adult child. It forces the parent to make support conditional....contrary to the human female heart which is to give freely. (Sexism unintended. But I am female.) It destroys relationships. It leads to despair. [/QUOTE]
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Advice for 18yo moving home
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