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Advice for 18yo moving home
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 733502" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Country,</p><p></p><p>Thanks for reaching out to us. </p><p></p><p>I am glad to hear this!! You will need your strength and to also stick to whatever you decide.</p><p></p><p>It's not an easy decision to make. First and foremost is the safety of your family. </p><p></p><p>I speak from experience, I put my son up in a rental house we own quite a few years back. I did this to help him after he was released from prison. All he had to do was get a job and start working on being a responsible part of society. Long story short, it did not happen. </p><p></p><p>I do not regret trying to help him as I know that I did all I could for him. While my son has come back at me over the years to say "You never helped me" or "You were never there for me", those comments are his own delusion. I know in my heart I did all I could for him. He chose to continue his life down a destructive path.</p><p></p><p>You can only do what you are comfortable with. There is a very fine line between helping and enabling. </p><p></p><p>If you do choose to allow him to live the rental house I would make him sign a contract. Be very specific. Of course it's only as good as the paper it's written on but at least he can't come back and say "you never told me I couldn't do A,B,C" One thing I know is a difficult adult child is really good at splitting hairs and spinning their words around until you are dizzy.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you all the best!!! Make sure you are taking care of YOU!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 733502, member: 18516"] Hi Country, Thanks for reaching out to us. I am glad to hear this!! You will need your strength and to also stick to whatever you decide. It's not an easy decision to make. First and foremost is the safety of your family. I speak from experience, I put my son up in a rental house we own quite a few years back. I did this to help him after he was released from prison. All he had to do was get a job and start working on being a responsible part of society. Long story short, it did not happen. I do not regret trying to help him as I know that I did all I could for him. While my son has come back at me over the years to say "You never helped me" or "You were never there for me", those comments are his own delusion. I know in my heart I did all I could for him. He chose to continue his life down a destructive path. You can only do what you are comfortable with. There is a very fine line between helping and enabling. If you do choose to allow him to live the rental house I would make him sign a contract. Be very specific. Of course it's only as good as the paper it's written on but at least he can't come back and say "you never told me I couldn't do A,B,C" One thing I know is a difficult adult child is really good at splitting hairs and spinning their words around until you are dizzy. Wishing you all the best!!! Make sure you are taking care of YOU!! [/QUOTE]
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Advice for 18yo moving home
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