Ah, for the love of animals ... sneaking pot

[TerryJ2]

Just suspended the phone.
Let the war begin.

 

[pasajes4]

I agree. It would drive him deeper into the relationship. I don't know that you telling her would do the trick. You need to be on your toes where this relationship is going.

 

[pasajes4]

Good for you. He will no doubt get ugly about the phone. If he becomes out of control, and physical do you have a plan?

 

[pasajes4]

I would not advise you to go behind her parents back in regards to bc. It might create a very hostile reaction on their part.

 

[BusynMember]

I have been there and done that. You pulled the "get out of my house card" and did not mean it He will not believe you when you are serious. You let him off the hook with the phone and the blunt. He will do it again. It is not his friends. it is him period no matter what his irrational thinking on this is. He used the car to go get the blunt. He is playing a dangerous game with some bad people and with you.

Agree 100%. He will right back to it all in a few days. Unfortunately, experience speaks. You can't make a threat you don't mean. Best not to say it at all. As for H., no guarantee she'll take the pills. She needs a shot. Otherwise, you may be looking at Grand #2. It's been a while. Has she been told yet about the STD?

I would not want to mess with her family. They are going to blame your son for anything that happens to her and you don't know how they will react.

 

[Lil]

He said it would be hard to prove that it was his blunt, by the way, especially since I had it in my car now. So it's in MY Possession. Clever boy.

Clever? I'm sorry, but NOT clever! THAT would be enough for me to go back to the "get out" portion of the talk!

I'm afraid I agree with the others. If you are not willing to actually put him out, do NOT throw that up and then back out. It's one thing to say, "IF this happens, you are out." but then WHEN it happens, you have to follow thru.

Please don't think I think this is easy. But my son's last chance was blown and, as I said I would, I had him pack his bags. It about killed me. I truly thought I might die. But it had to be done. To back out would have been giving him permission to keep stealing.

Your son has taken the car without permission and is smoking pot and lying...what else? I'm not saying toss him out, just don't make threats you aren't ready to follow thru on.

Thinking about you. Hoping for the best.

 

[TerryJ2]

He had a fit.
I only turned it off for two days, but may extend it ... except that Verizon scr*wed up and no longer has the plan that I signed up for, so I have to find another plan. Sigh. And, it cut off his vox but not texting. That's another screen. WTH? They play bait-and-switch more than difficult child does.
He got a friend to pick him up. We think he texted, which was why I went online to find out how he did it.
She probably took him to E's and he's probably high right now.
And not coming home.
He is one wounded, sick kid.
I should have done this yesterday. It would have made more sense. Today, he was actually doing his homework and he had vacuumed and done the dishes. He was trying to be good.
And then I told him I'd changed my mind after looking at all of the evidence.
Aspies don't like change.
He cried and said he was just going to get into more trouble because that's who he is. HE said he was probably going to E's. I told him that was a slippery slope and a poor choice. We tried to convince him that he could change his life and his future. He hates himself. But he's GOT to do the right thing ON HIS OWN, to learn how it works.
I'll be off the board for a few days.

 

[Lil]

He cried and said he was just going to get into more trouble because that's who he is. HE said he was probably going to E's. I told him that was a slippery slope and a poor choice. We tried to convince him that he could change his life and his future. He hates himself. But he's GOT to do the right thing ON HIS OWN, to learn how it works.

Oh Terry, that sounds soooo much like my son. It makes my heart hurt for you. I'm so sorry for all that's going on with you and Difficult Child. I'll keep you guys in my prayers.

 

[ThreeShadows]

An other mom here is thinking of you, Terry. I'm so sorry that things have gotten so out of control.

 

[pasajes4]

I am in your corner Terry and praying for you guys.

 

[TerryJ2]

So, difficult child stayed home all weekend.
I guess he thought that trading his phone privileges for potheads was a good deal.
He said that he used our Wifi for email when his phone went off, because he has an iPhone. Arrgh! He even showed me how to do it.

He has been behaving better, but I can guarantee, it will last another day before I have to turn it off again. And this time, I'll just take the d*mn thing because I don't trust Verizon.
I'll need husband and another guy to be there so he doesn't get violent.
So for now, the sun is out, he has eaten dinner with-us all weekend, has showered, and is still catching up with his grades. And he's still on his lithium.
I don't have the results for his blood tests (CBC and THC) because the lab required driver's lic pics and a signature to be emailed, and I wanted everything emailed. They don't make it easy.
(Bad enough fighting difficult child, but the lab and the phone company too ...)
The detective said that we cannot get text msgs from the police because it's unconstitutional. He said that since we pay the bill, to lean harder on Verizon. And that this case may never be resolved.
He also said that one of difficult child's friends turned in something to a pawn shop, and I said, "That would be K, with his aunt's jewelry." I described him. He said, "No," and described E. "With jewelry!"
"Yes."
So either difficult child got them backwards, or they've both stolen way more than I think.
Grrr. So far, I'm not missing anything (I have a small safe and the handyman is coming back on Thursday for more door locks) and the other missing items were in a bag in the pantry waiting for repair. So glad I forgot about those!

We see the therapist tomorrow.