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ahhh easy child left the state
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 425929" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Jen, in my humble opinion, you might want to try studying the well-intended words of wisdom written on your previous thread. Obviously, she wasn't about to crack. Obviously, you have no control over her and you trying to manipulate her (yes, it's manipuolation even when it's for "good", well-intentioned purposes) is not going to bring her home and straighten up in a few days or weeks. I don't want to be harsh either and you've accused me of it before when I don't think I was being critical at all. But I do remember that when my son was living at home, people responded sometimes that maybe I was somehow bringing out or causing his "difficult child'ness" and your household sounds a lot more chaotic on a daily basis than mine was. Mine would hit, then calm. Yours never calms. I tried to subtly tell you this before but you got angry and defensive about it. It's not that you create it, I don't think, but it is posssible to become used to it and keep it going and spend more time dealing with anticipated crisis than developing stability. Also, I have to say, your bro, nor either of your daus, nor the woman letting your daughter stay with her is "doing this to you". And while I'm letting it all out, so to speak, I am very concerned about the way you use medications for yourself and your kids. You said on another thread that the "psychpdoc" would write an rx for about anything you ask for. Your daughter has had a lot of medication trials for short periods with dosages that aren't typical, then they get changed. You have talked about taking xanax sporadically. I am very concerned that you might be dealing with a quack who rx's illegally, or at least unethically, and not a decent psychiatrist. But I'm not sure anything would do a lot of good if it's only tried a few days or a few weeks, then it gets tweaked by you, then switched to another approach- and that applies to therapy as well as medications. Go back and read some of the things you wrote about while in OR. You were there- what- about 6-8 weeks? And you thought you could come back and "fix" all the dysfunction for every person in that house?? You were talking about loads of therapy, tutors, extra-ciricular activities for you and difficult child- tons of stuff that the schedule to keep up with it alone causes chaos. YOU can't fix it at all- it takes a good therapist working with every member of the family to get this turned around. It just doesn't work like a therapist fixes one person in 2 mos so that person then fixes the family. Nothing will work if you don't turn over control to a person trained to help and be willing to do what they say you need to do. Yes, it is very hard to find that competent person and one you have a good feelinng about, are comfortable talking to, and trust. But to read your posts, some of them anyway, you have found that. Also, I notice there appears to be conflicting info in some of your threads. I'm just throwing that out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 425929, member: 3699"] Jen, in my humble opinion, you might want to try studying the well-intended words of wisdom written on your previous thread. Obviously, she wasn't about to crack. Obviously, you have no control over her and you trying to manipulate her (yes, it's manipuolation even when it's for "good", well-intentioned purposes) is not going to bring her home and straighten up in a few days or weeks. I don't want to be harsh either and you've accused me of it before when I don't think I was being critical at all. But I do remember that when my son was living at home, people responded sometimes that maybe I was somehow bringing out or causing his "difficult child'ness" and your household sounds a lot more chaotic on a daily basis than mine was. Mine would hit, then calm. Yours never calms. I tried to subtly tell you this before but you got angry and defensive about it. It's not that you create it, I don't think, but it is posssible to become used to it and keep it going and spend more time dealing with anticipated crisis than developing stability. Also, I have to say, your bro, nor either of your daus, nor the woman letting your daughter stay with her is "doing this to you". And while I'm letting it all out, so to speak, I am very concerned about the way you use medications for yourself and your kids. You said on another thread that the "psychpdoc" would write an rx for about anything you ask for. Your daughter has had a lot of medication trials for short periods with dosages that aren't typical, then they get changed. You have talked about taking xanax sporadically. I am very concerned that you might be dealing with a quack who rx's illegally, or at least unethically, and not a decent psychiatrist. But I'm not sure anything would do a lot of good if it's only tried a few days or a few weeks, then it gets tweaked by you, then switched to another approach- and that applies to therapy as well as medications. Go back and read some of the things you wrote about while in OR. You were there- what- about 6-8 weeks? And you thought you could come back and "fix" all the dysfunction for every person in that house?? You were talking about loads of therapy, tutors, extra-ciricular activities for you and difficult child- tons of stuff that the schedule to keep up with it alone causes chaos. YOU can't fix it at all- it takes a good therapist working with every member of the family to get this turned around. It just doesn't work like a therapist fixes one person in 2 mos so that person then fixes the family. Nothing will work if you don't turn over control to a person trained to help and be willing to do what they say you need to do. Yes, it is very hard to find that competent person and one you have a good feelinng about, are comfortable talking to, and trust. But to read your posts, some of them anyway, you have found that. Also, I notice there appears to be conflicting info in some of your threads. I'm just throwing that out. [/QUOTE]
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