ahhh easy child left the state

[Jena]

soo my brother, the one who facebooked about lovely easy child...... called me while i was at the neuro this a.m. gotta love that little man!

soooo easy child has left the state apparentely, with her friend to vermont. whatever......

she also has been posting a bunch of junk about sex on her facebook page.

had another "long" talk with my brother about it all. broke it down bit by bit. backed it up by talking to my mom.

basically told him i want NO information regarding easy child to be given to me. where she is, sex updates on facebook. zero.

i said it's hard enough and your just making it harder, i love you, get you don't mean to yet it's gotta stop.

soo hence thats why she was by the house flipping out last night, looking for money etc.

and the soga continues......

i will say it's really nice out today. i'm going to enjoy this day to the fullest with difficult child. we have a tutor, than library thing tonight. we may go eat somewhere outside for dinner if we have the time.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

Well, that solves the problem about what to say about no birthday present! Have a nice mother's day with difficult child.

 

[Jena]

no doubt!!! 17 and on a school day which she choses not to attend anymore driving to vermont!

i told my brother what in the world are you doing to me today? calling me at dr. than facebooking, than sharing junk i don't need to know. told my family as nicely as i could to mind their business........

 

[klmno]

Jen, in my humble opinion, you might want to try studying the well-intended words of wisdom written on your previous thread. Obviously, she wasn't about to crack. Obviously, you have no control over her and you trying to manipulate her (yes, it's manipuolation even when it's for "good", well-intentioned purposes) is not going to bring her home and straighten up in a few days or weeks. I don't want to be harsh either and you've accused me of it before when I don't think I was being critical at all. But I do remember that when my son was living at home, people responded sometimes that maybe I was somehow bringing out or causing his "difficult child'ness" and your household sounds a lot more chaotic on a daily basis than mine was. Mine would hit, then calm. Yours never calms. I tried to subtly tell you this before but you got angry and defensive about it. It's not that you create it, I don't think, but it is posssible to become used to it and keep it going and spend more time dealing with anticipated crisis than developing stability. Also, I have to say, your bro, nor either of your daus, nor the woman letting your daughter stay with her is "doing this to you". And while I'm letting it all out, so to speak, I am very concerned about the way you use medications for yourself and your kids. You said on another thread that the "psychpdoc" would write an rx for about anything you ask for. Your daughter has had a lot of medication trials for short periods with dosages that aren't typical, then they get changed. You have talked about taking xanax sporadically. I am very concerned that you might be dealing with a quack who rx's illegally, or at least unethically, and not a decent psychiatrist. But I'm not sure anything would do a lot of good if it's only tried a few days or a few weeks, then it gets tweaked by you, then switched to another approach- and that applies to therapy as well as medications. Go back and read some of the things you wrote about while in OR. You were there- what- about 6-8 weeks? And you thought you could come back and "fix" all the dysfunction for every person in that house?? You were talking about loads of therapy, tutors, extra-ciricular activities for you and difficult child- tons of stuff that the schedule to keep up with it alone causes chaos. YOU can't fix it at all- it takes a good therapist working with every member of the family to get this turned around. It just doesn't work like a therapist fixes one person in 2 mos so that person then fixes the family. Nothing will work if you don't turn over control to a person trained to help and be willing to do what they say you need to do. Yes, it is very hard to find that competent person and one you have a good feelinng about, are comfortable talking to, and trust. But to read your posts, some of them anyway, you have found that. Also, I notice there appears to be conflicting info in some of your threads. I'm just throwing that out.

 

[Jena]

hi i was just logging out and saw you. was thinking about you last night and how all your chaos at work is going...... hope its' better.

you wrote alot..... can't cover it all. we're leaving in a few.......

i think i've done a good job at setting up extra cirricular stuff for difficult child and I. I ride every week, keeps my sanity, and difficult child goes each week to library for different functions, is now in dance, and also has a few get together's with old friends (a few id love more)!!! as far as easy child tried to offer her some yet well ya know that story....

schedule that's done too, we have a dry erase in kitchen alot for my memory issues and difficult child's need to be structured. we live by it each day and week. so schedules' posted weekly i'Tourette's Syndrome helped somewhat with her daily anxiety.

medications, my difficult child like many other's is hard to medicate because there are a few different diagnosis's working at once. so unfortunately only medication that has ever done the trick is seroqeul which was awesome while it lasted, than zyprexa which got her to eat and shes' still on. others were adverse reactions and yea we pull them. her dr isnt' illegal he is a pyschiatrist old school...... been searching fora few one yet it's very hard these days to find one that takes our insurance.

medications for me?? LOl i have xanax... i use it when needed prn. in portland i used half of a 0.25 to sleep thats so minimal if you know xanax it isnt' even funny. only medications i take are supplements and herbals and vitamins. so dont' know why you said that.

as far as the rest goes marg has taught me to be proactive as oppposed to reactive. so i think more now before doing things especially with easy child as of late and always with difficult child.

perfection will never hit no home is perfect. yet to be honest i miss my daughter am scared for her yet our home is so much calmer without her constant blow ups, cursing carrying on. difficult child said yesterday wow mom easy child shows up and all of a sudden our home's insane again.....

my house is always chaotic mondays and wednesdays with my step kids yet in a good way their all busy playing outside inside all over the small house with two dogs to boot!

conflicting info...... possibly....... i write it as it happens like a news reporter i am!!!

anyway only thing i didnt' accomplish was getting in home services they simply weren't available. too bad for us, yet how it goes. as far as change...... and doctor's we have...... what are you reading?? LOL husband goes to therapy, difficult child goes to a new cbt since back home, i have one now, had changed yet she seems to be able to see me each week. listen yes their my guidance to an extent.

anyhow change takes time...... our house is once again giong through a huge change with my easy child gone, it'll take time to adjust that's just normal...... patience i think is key here in our home. id' have to say though compared to when i returned from portland that first insane night it is better, there is improvement and for me thats all i gotta see is just a tiny little bit. as far as easy child goes i'm learning slowly.... thought she was cracking praying she was than my brother called to say hey she left the state. my brother has absolutely no right to fb about it or inform me of easy child's actions. if he choses to follow or stalk her facebook its' not my concern the way i see it. less i know the better.

no defensive i just think somewhere along the line you got or maybe i sent mixed info?? i dont' know no one else is confused lol they all know easy child is insane right now, im hurting and desperately struggling to learn through it, difficult child has bipolar it's a life's work, husband and i are trying.... and yup two crazy dogs..... yea that's my life

anyway how are you doign with your crazy job??