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Parent Emeritus
Almost made it through another.
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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 754612" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>Welcome Overwhelmed. You will find support here. I have read everything I can get my hands on. (Books are in my signature line). I got the basics, but applying the boundaries, dealing with unwarranted fear and guilt is something I have learned from all those who share their stories here. I too gave my Difficult Child thousands upon thousands of dollars. Each time I thought I was helping her. I have learned she is a master manipulator, but she can't see that. She is very sick mentally, but everything is because of me. The point is, I have been there. I have been at the bottom. I quit giving money when I finally realized none of it was going for what I thought it was. Absolutely nothing has changed for her. In other words, all that money, all those nights on the phone with her leaving my husband to go to gatherings alone, NONE of it helped. It comes down to accepting that the only thing we can change is us! </p><p></p><p>I recently called around Vegas (we do not live in her state) and found a plethora of information. I talked with people that helped me! Knowing I have the resources should she ever reach out has brought me some peace. I am wishing the same for you.</p><p></p><p>Read the article posted on the Parents Emeritus forum on detachment. I have it on my phone, a hard copy next to my chair. I review it for periodic maintenance. I give a star to the points I am doing better at achieving and a question mark on those to work on. It's my way of taking baby steps, as I am older and have memory issues. </p><p></p><p>Wishing you light and peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 754612, member: 23811"] Welcome Overwhelmed. You will find support here. I have read everything I can get my hands on. (Books are in my signature line). I got the basics, but applying the boundaries, dealing with unwarranted fear and guilt is something I have learned from all those who share their stories here. I too gave my Difficult Child thousands upon thousands of dollars. Each time I thought I was helping her. I have learned she is a master manipulator, but she can't see that. She is very sick mentally, but everything is because of me. The point is, I have been there. I have been at the bottom. I quit giving money when I finally realized none of it was going for what I thought it was. Absolutely nothing has changed for her. In other words, all that money, all those nights on the phone with her leaving my husband to go to gatherings alone, NONE of it helped. It comes down to accepting that the only thing we can change is us! I recently called around Vegas (we do not live in her state) and found a plethora of information. I talked with people that helped me! Knowing I have the resources should she ever reach out has brought me some peace. I am wishing the same for you. Read the article posted on the Parents Emeritus forum on detachment. I have it on my phone, a hard copy next to my chair. I review it for periodic maintenance. I give a star to the points I am doing better at achieving and a question mark on those to work on. It's my way of taking baby steps, as I am older and have memory issues. Wishing you light and peace. [/QUOTE]
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