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Parent Emeritus
Am I steering my own, true course or heading for the rocks?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 742675" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>All of this is helpful. In reality I do not know what is the one thing I want. Because when I identify one thing, I jump immediately to the next. Because each time I identify something in him, about his life, it is external to me, and it does not quell the fear and the want that are in me. So if I put it that way, it is not about what I want from J. It is what I want and need in me, that J cannot ever give me. </p><p></p><p>As I think about it now, my son is showing he can survive. He has to be making decent micro decisions...or he would have come to a real crisis...living as he is.Living homeless without a way to organize himself, without a safe place is not conducive to health and well-being. Either mental or physical health. I think he wants to live, but I think he is in a lot of denial about his illness.</p><p>I don't know. I think this is the $64,000 question.</p><p>This is the nugget of things. </p><p></p><p>What has been the deal breaker for me is that housing has been the only thing he will go on the record as wanting. What goes unstated is his wanting to be close to people who know and care about him. </p><p></p><p>I have to be able to tell him that this has not been enough for me. And it is possible I can change some, but not all. Thankyou smithmom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 742675, member: 18958"] All of this is helpful. In reality I do not know what is the one thing I want. Because when I identify one thing, I jump immediately to the next. Because each time I identify something in him, about his life, it is external to me, and it does not quell the fear and the want that are in me. So if I put it that way, it is not about what I want from J. It is what I want and need in me, that J cannot ever give me. As I think about it now, my son is showing he can survive. He has to be making decent micro decisions...or he would have come to a real crisis...living as he is.Living homeless without a way to organize himself, without a safe place is not conducive to health and well-being. Either mental or physical health. I think he wants to live, but I think he is in a lot of denial about his illness. I don't know. I think this is the $64,000 question. This is the nugget of things. What has been the deal breaker for me is that housing has been the only thing he will go on the record as wanting. What goes unstated is his wanting to be close to people who know and care about him. I have to be able to tell him that this has not been enough for me. And it is possible I can change some, but not all. Thankyou smithmom. [/QUOTE]
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Am I steering my own, true course or heading for the rocks?
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