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Parent Emeritus
Am I steering my own, true course or heading for the rocks?
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 742792" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Copa, don’t get too discouraged. This kind of poor follow through is typical and I truly believe reflects the dysfunction they are living in rather than a premeditated desire to hurt. What good does it do to bring intention into the equation at this point? Today didn’t work out. Hopefully Thursday will. It’s great that he has agreed seeing a therapist is a good idea! That’s a step. It’s progress. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes our children do want to hurt us, or manipulate and use us. Of course it’s natural to have our guard up. But I don’t think that’s necessarily the case with J right now. All you know right now is he couldn’t get his act together in time to make his train yesterday. Let’s see what happens Thursday. Remember your boundaries and stick to them but outside of that I would try not to read Too much into whether he calls when he said he would, makes it on time to agreed on meetings, etc. He is living in extreme dysfunction. His ability to live within our time and social norms is going to be limited. Try not to take symptoms of his dysfunction personally. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Focus on you today and tomorrow and try to stay centered. Big hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 742792, member: 23349"] Copa, don’t get too discouraged. This kind of poor follow through is typical and I truly believe reflects the dysfunction they are living in rather than a premeditated desire to hurt. What good does it do to bring intention into the equation at this point? Today didn’t work out. Hopefully Thursday will. It’s great that he has agreed seeing a therapist is a good idea! That’s a step. It’s progress. Sometimes our children do want to hurt us, or manipulate and use us. Of course it’s natural to have our guard up. But I don’t think that’s necessarily the case with J right now. All you know right now is he couldn’t get his act together in time to make his train yesterday. Let’s see what happens Thursday. Remember your boundaries and stick to them but outside of that I would try not to read Too much into whether he calls when he said he would, makes it on time to agreed on meetings, etc. He is living in extreme dysfunction. His ability to live within our time and social norms is going to be limited. Try not to take symptoms of his dysfunction personally. Hang in there. Focus on you today and tomorrow and try to stay centered. Big hugs. [/QUOTE]
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Am I steering my own, true course or heading for the rocks?
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