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Parent Emeritus
Am I steering my own, true course or heading for the rocks?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 742805" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I feel the same way with my son. </p><p></p><p></p><p>As much as we separate our lives from theirs, we are still part of the story, we are the parents who love them. As for how to let him be himself, you just do. For myself, accepting that my son was going to live a homeless life was not easy but necessary. I just as you have tried my best to offer solutions to live a better more productive life but my son wants no part of that. I don't like the way my son chooses to live but I cannot allow his choices to bring darkness into my life. I am not getting younger and do not want to years down the road, look back with regret of things I should have done for myself. I will always hope that my son will make better life choices but that's up to him, not me.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry the visit with your son didn't work out. I know the anxiety that goes with the anticipation of seeing him. Always remember to just step back and breathe, those slow deep breaths. Set in you mind what your boundaries will be and be firm with them and him. Knowing what you will and won't tolerate from him will help you. Of course he may not like the boundaries you've set but that's okay. This isn't all about him, you and your feelings matter too!</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 742805, member: 18516"] I feel the same way with my son. As much as we separate our lives from theirs, we are still part of the story, we are the parents who love them. As for how to let him be himself, you just do. For myself, accepting that my son was going to live a homeless life was not easy but necessary. I just as you have tried my best to offer solutions to live a better more productive life but my son wants no part of that. I don't like the way my son chooses to live but I cannot allow his choices to bring darkness into my life. I am not getting younger and do not want to years down the road, look back with regret of things I should have done for myself. I will always hope that my son will make better life choices but that's up to him, not me. I'm sorry the visit with your son didn't work out. I know the anxiety that goes with the anticipation of seeing him. Always remember to just step back and breathe, those slow deep breaths. Set in you mind what your boundaries will be and be firm with them and him. Knowing what you will and won't tolerate from him will help you. Of course he may not like the boundaries you've set but that's okay. This isn't all about him, you and your feelings matter too! ((HUGS)) to you!! [/QUOTE]
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Am I steering my own, true course or heading for the rocks?
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