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Am I steering my own, true course or heading for the rocks?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 743077" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you very much New Leaf.How beautiful this is.</p><p>So the analogy here would be trust in oneself. Trust that one can know their course, (not through some map or guideposts or compass points or radio) but by some intrinsic connection and capacity to evaluate and integrate the information that they receive while riding the waves: the weather, the surf, their own fatigue and their will to go forward, their endurance, their confidence, receptivity to divine guidance, and connection to the greater will.</p><p></p><p>I was listening to public radio the other day; a short lecture by a man named Alan Watts who was an eastern-oriented spiritual teacher here in CA starting in 1959 into maybe the 1970's. Few people (I mean non-Asian people) had heard about Taoism or Buddhism. And he did more than anybody to introduce us to those concepts and way of life. So to my point, this early tape was about TAO, or (dao) the idea that our work is a spiritual teacher, a spiritual path, and that we can be formed, shaped, honed by our work...if it is not stripped of its meaning to some meaningless thing, like an assembly line or into a time clock, kind of like another way of "doing time" what prison attempts to do to the incarcerated. Not only strip them of their individuality but deprive them of experience that is individualizing. That shapes and works them...their becoming. Which is really what you say.</p><p>In my situation I chose to adopt a child who had already suffered. Part of the deal was the commitment up front to steer the course, acknowledged or not.</p><p>Thank you, New Leaf.</p><p>That is the $64,000 question. Who is the real J? The likeable and trustworthy and helpful J is who I raised. But the question is, could he only be this as dependent upon my own personality structure with my direct support? Can he maintain the façade, the persona up to a point, but does he lack the personal strength and personality integration to muster this when the going gets tough? I am speaking character here. And do M and I catch the <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> because we are real and deep to him, so we get the real stuff of him?</p><p></p><p>J can be loving and responsive to me. I believe he loves me. I believe he needs me. Is it that he cannot grow up or he won't? </p><p></p><p>But if I face reality based upon 10 years or more, J has not done one thing to dig in and really face life. By that I refer to the metaphor of the mountain climber that throws what is it, the ice axe? That he or she throws up and out to get a foothold so they can hoist themselves up or out. I have not seen my son dig in. He is a tumbleweed. He shows it in relation to us. We dig in and he becomes resentful and/or manipulative. He does not dig down to real.</p><p></p><p>Thank you New Leaf.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 743077, member: 18958"] Thank you very much New Leaf.How beautiful this is. So the analogy here would be trust in oneself. Trust that one can know their course, (not through some map or guideposts or compass points or radio) but by some intrinsic connection and capacity to evaluate and integrate the information that they receive while riding the waves: the weather, the surf, their own fatigue and their will to go forward, their endurance, their confidence, receptivity to divine guidance, and connection to the greater will. I was listening to public radio the other day; a short lecture by a man named Alan Watts who was an eastern-oriented spiritual teacher here in CA starting in 1959 into maybe the 1970's. Few people (I mean non-Asian people) had heard about Taoism or Buddhism. And he did more than anybody to introduce us to those concepts and way of life. So to my point, this early tape was about TAO, or (dao) the idea that our work is a spiritual teacher, a spiritual path, and that we can be formed, shaped, honed by our work...if it is not stripped of its meaning to some meaningless thing, like an assembly line or into a time clock, kind of like another way of "doing time" what prison attempts to do to the incarcerated. Not only strip them of their individuality but deprive them of experience that is individualizing. That shapes and works them...their becoming. Which is really what you say. In my situation I chose to adopt a child who had already suffered. Part of the deal was the commitment up front to steer the course, acknowledged or not. Thank you, New Leaf. That is the $64,000 question. Who is the real J? The likeable and trustworthy and helpful J is who I raised. But the question is, could he only be this as dependent upon my own personality structure with my direct support? Can he maintain the façade, the persona up to a point, but does he lack the personal strength and personality integration to muster this when the going gets tough? I am speaking character here. And do M and I catch the :censored2: because we are real and deep to him, so we get the real stuff of him? J can be loving and responsive to me. I believe he loves me. I believe he needs me. Is it that he cannot grow up or he won't? But if I face reality based upon 10 years or more, J has not done one thing to dig in and really face life. By that I refer to the metaphor of the mountain climber that throws what is it, the ice axe? That he or she throws up and out to get a foothold so they can hoist themselves up or out. I have not seen my son dig in. He is a tumbleweed. He shows it in relation to us. We dig in and he becomes resentful and/or manipulative. He does not dig down to real. Thank you New Leaf. [/QUOTE]
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