Am I wrong for not wanting to bring the baby to jail?

[2much2recover]

I like that idea plus it adds to the focus to fact that she will not be returning home - let her fester in her self-created crap for a while. Again I highly recommend communicating by written word as then you have it in writing, where you can reflect on what she is really saying. Try texting, email, private messaging. (and print them out for future reference, it is way easier to keep track of the lies that way) Also when you write something to her, you really are getting the final word by having the chance, without being manipulated, into saying what you really mean!

 

[PatriotsGirl]

My husband is really amazing. He always checks in on him every morning and afternoon. He really, really loves his grandson and that helps. But he works a lot - he is the plant manager so it is a lot of hours. I have my 17 year old here that helps, too, but he is 17 and I don't want him to give up his life because of difficult child.

I try to remind myself that they are not toddlers forever and to just enjoy this time rather than be stressed about it.

I think the jail has email now - I think I am going to look into that for communication. I honestly only put money on the phone account for her to talk to her son to remind her what she has to work for. He just stared funny at the phone - don't think he really knew who it was or if he did, maybe he was just confused why he could hear her but not see her. Nevertheless, it did not seem to affect him negatively, which is what my concern was...

 

[2much2recover]

Then only let her talk to her son and communicate with her via email!

 

[2much2recover]

Also I like this quote " If you say an issue is not longer open to discussion the first time and then talk to them about it 10 times you have just told the person that the issue is open for discussion 9 more times". Something like that..........

 

[Lucedaleblessed]

It is so tiring...sometimes it is a LOT. But I know I got to keep on keeping on. I have the papers signed and will be filing them at the courthouse this afternoon.

I had a glimmer of hope when I saw her in jail but then she called the next day and one of the things she said when we talked about rehab was "look how well that worked out last time". Um, she never even gave it 30 days!! Let's take a look at how not going to rehab has worked for her...ugh. She obviously needs more time to think. She honestly thinks she is going to get out after going to court and just get a job, finish community service, etc. I told her the first thing she needs to do is go to the homeless shelter so she can apply for benefits. Her response was that she is not going to a f'n homeless shelter. I reminded her that she is NOT coming here.

When she came home to you after his birth the plan was that she was supposed to go to rehab because she had to learn how to handle crisis in her life without turning to self-medication. The system destroyed that and the judge commented on it. When the first crisis hit her, she turned to self-medication as any having the slightest knowledge to users know they would do.

Now she can sleep at friends place or sleep in a shelther. Now it should be possible for the court to offer her a rehab option. But rehabs only work if the patient believes in the concept. She didn't believe in it back then so it failed. No ordered rehab works. I have a brother who struggled for many years. It was his decision and his only to stop.

She has her choice to make. You have Connor to nurse. So don't try and convince her. Wish her well and focus your strength entirely on Connor.

 

[DammitJanet]

I personally would never take a very small child to a jail where the visits are behind glass. I saw a Lockup show where some family took this little boy to visit his daddy in prison and evidently he had to have no contact visits for some reason and this precious little boy of about 3 said..."My Daddy! My Daddy! My Daddy is stuck in the mirror. Someone get him out!" And this little boy had never even known his father outside of the prison. The father went to prison before he was born. It was the saddest thing I ever saw.