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Substance Abuse
And the begging starts
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 758838" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Helpless</p><p></p><p>I have not had a chance to read all of the recent posts but I read yours and I read Overcome Mom's. I have regret too because my son was homeless and picked up bad habits that way. At the same time I believe that these are adult people and they can't be sheltered from the consequences of their behavior. </p><p></p><p>Although your son is still a child, technically, he has persisted in acting quite badly. However, I think like you do at this point. He has had to sit in that place where he is a long time. I support you in tryting to negotiate with your husband. But I don't think the whole responsibility should be yours and and your husbands. I think the probation department needs to work with you to put together a plan of support and consequences. Everything should be spelled out, in terms of conditions. Your son needs to know going in (or getting out) what will happen, what are his obligations and what will happen should he not meet them. I think this should be part of and written into his release plan. The plan of support needs to be therapy, probation department involvement, and other things established in advance. Maybe there needs to be family therapy. If there are drug and alcohol issues there needs to be treatment. If there has been violence and aggression, that needs to be anticipated too, by services. Before. Not after. Maybe if this is done your husband will accept another try.</p><p></p><p>I do not think it would be a good idea to just let your son show up, absent a safety net and absent a support system. I think this would be way worse for him. It would be a set up for your child. And for you and your family. But the true victim would be your son. There are far worse things than staying in custody a few months more. Failure because your son is not adequately supported, by getting what he needs, to me would be a worse thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 758838, member: 18958"] Dear Helpless I have not had a chance to read all of the recent posts but I read yours and I read Overcome Mom's. I have regret too because my son was homeless and picked up bad habits that way. At the same time I believe that these are adult people and they can't be sheltered from the consequences of their behavior. Although your son is still a child, technically, he has persisted in acting quite badly. However, I think like you do at this point. He has had to sit in that place where he is a long time. I support you in tryting to negotiate with your husband. But I don't think the whole responsibility should be yours and and your husbands. I think the probation department needs to work with you to put together a plan of support and consequences. Everything should be spelled out, in terms of conditions. Your son needs to know going in (or getting out) what will happen, what are his obligations and what will happen should he not meet them. I think this should be part of and written into his release plan. The plan of support needs to be therapy, probation department involvement, and other things established in advance. Maybe there needs to be family therapy. If there are drug and alcohol issues there needs to be treatment. If there has been violence and aggression, that needs to be anticipated too, by services. Before. Not after. Maybe if this is done your husband will accept another try. I do not think it would be a good idea to just let your son show up, absent a safety net and absent a support system. I think this would be way worse for him. It would be a set up for your child. And for you and your family. But the true victim would be your son. There are far worse things than staying in custody a few months more. Failure because your son is not adequately supported, by getting what he needs, to me would be a worse thing. [/QUOTE]
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