FeelingBeat
New Member
I love my child but i am at the breaking point. i know that by turning to a forum like this i am not truly done and i am still searching for a fix but i don't know what to do anymore. I text my ex regularly and say I can't do this I'm done, then within an hour I'm on the computer searching for solutions to my problems. I think my child has an attachment disorder. She has been diagnosed with all sorts of things from anxiety, add, to oppositional defiance etc. Every doctor I take her to tags another diagnosis. However I think they are all symptoms of the attachment issues. My ex and I were not bad parents, we were simply young parents with a lot against us doing what we could to provide a life for our family. We found out I was pregnant the day after my ex cashed his $20,000 student loan and began a 2 year program. So as soon as my daughter was 6 months old and could go into a full time daycare I went back to work. Then with a newly diagnosed son with autism I would come home spend hours reading about it, therapy, designing his program while her father tried to play with them and finish his school work. A few years later we moved, we split up and to be honest i don't think things have really been settled for her. Her dad has remarried and we were doing 50/50 custody until a month ago when he said he couldn't anymore. She was breaking him and his wife up and ruining the family. Since she has been here she has been really good on weeks I don't have the other kids but then she is constantly fighting for attention the weeks they are here, and even if she gets it she fights for more and goes so hard at it she pushed everyone away. We have talks she says she can't fix any of this her life is over she has no future. I try to plan on us working on things together making goals working through stuff but we never get that far because she destroys everything before we get a chance. My best friend has offered to take her for an undetermined amount of time to give us a break and try her approach with her (they are vegan, home schooled, live in the country whereas we are in the city don't follow any diets have a very busy life from school to work to activities etc) so we will see. In the meantime I am going to use this time to 1. have a break take a breather and try to restore my boyfriend and I and the other kids back to some kind of normal, then dive into the parenting courses and programs. I know there is a way to break through to her I just haven't found it. She wants me to so bad I can see how bad she is hurting me. Am i making the wrong decision? If it is attachment issues am i just going to make them worse by sending her away? She gets pleasure out of hurting me and everyone in my family and i don't know how to cope.