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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 535139" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I really understood this in a big way just this week when difficult child was calling me over and over screaming obscenities and putting all sorts of nouns and adjectives together to describe me that I have never heard before and still expecting me to buy her black shoes for works. In the past I would have gotten very upset and refused to do whatever it was she wanted me to do. But I talked to husband from work and she was calling him doing the same to him and he was not upset and I realized there was no point in getting upset or fighting. She needed the black shoes for work and she was desperate and if I wanted her to have a chance to keep the job I had to get them for her and if I wanted to prove a point or be vindictive or try to push her to bottom I wouldn't. I calmly and rationally decided I wanted her to keep the job so I met her at the store and bought her shoes. It was the first time ever I think that I saw her in a different way and was able to see her for who she was, a terribly dysfunctional young adult who had none of the tools needed to get along on her own. I was strangely calm and had no anger towards her. </p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 535139, member: 59"] I really understood this in a big way just this week when difficult child was calling me over and over screaming obscenities and putting all sorts of nouns and adjectives together to describe me that I have never heard before and still expecting me to buy her black shoes for works. In the past I would have gotten very upset and refused to do whatever it was she wanted me to do. But I talked to husband from work and she was calling him doing the same to him and he was not upset and I realized there was no point in getting upset or fighting. She needed the black shoes for work and she was desperate and if I wanted her to have a chance to keep the job I had to get them for her and if I wanted to prove a point or be vindictive or try to push her to bottom I wouldn't. I calmly and rationally decided I wanted her to keep the job so I met her at the store and bought her shoes. It was the first time ever I think that I saw her in a different way and was able to see her for who she was, a terribly dysfunctional young adult who had none of the tools needed to get along on her own. I was strangely calm and had no anger towards her. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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