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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 742664" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>I'm so sorry you're going through this. When I first established boundaries my daughter lost her damn mind. She would call my cell and house phones repeatedly, leaving screaming messages, etc. I would turn them off so she couldn't call. I'm sure the only reason she didn't come to my house is that I live out in the country. She can't bring herself to drive 25 minutes out here. It's very hard to see them destroying their lives. As a parent our instinct is to help them, no matter how old they are. It's very difficult to see the way addiction turns them into selfish monsters. My parents have always done so much for my daughter. Most recently they bought her a car and a laptop. They pay for a very expensive private school that my granddaughter attends. They are very elderly and are having end-of-life health issues. My daughter couldn't care less- she never calls them or thanks them for anything. She makes no effort to see them, and while they do live a couple of hours away, she never goes when I go. She cares nothing for me or any issues I have and is only nice when she wants something. She views her daughter as an inconvenience. When she was sober she wasn't like this. It enrages me and I have to disconnect a lot.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you're experiencing health issues, but it's good you are able to hold that boundary with your daughter. I know it's very difficult and heart wrenching. But you will be healthier for it in the long run. I have to remind myself to be kind to myself and treat myself as I would a friend going through this. Do something special for yourself this week. Keep your head up. I'm right here with you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 742664, member: 11235"] I'm so sorry you're going through this. When I first established boundaries my daughter lost her damn mind. She would call my cell and house phones repeatedly, leaving screaming messages, etc. I would turn them off so she couldn't call. I'm sure the only reason she didn't come to my house is that I live out in the country. She can't bring herself to drive 25 minutes out here. It's very hard to see them destroying their lives. As a parent our instinct is to help them, no matter how old they are. It's very difficult to see the way addiction turns them into selfish monsters. My parents have always done so much for my daughter. Most recently they bought her a car and a laptop. They pay for a very expensive private school that my granddaughter attends. They are very elderly and are having end-of-life health issues. My daughter couldn't care less- she never calls them or thanks them for anything. She makes no effort to see them, and while they do live a couple of hours away, she never goes when I go. She cares nothing for me or any issues I have and is only nice when she wants something. She views her daughter as an inconvenience. When she was sober she wasn't like this. It enrages me and I have to disconnect a lot. I'm sorry you're experiencing health issues, but it's good you are able to hold that boundary with your daughter. I know it's very difficult and heart wrenching. But you will be healthier for it in the long run. I have to remind myself to be kind to myself and treat myself as I would a friend going through this. Do something special for yourself this week. Keep your head up. I'm right here with you! [/QUOTE]
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