Been saying "He'll grow out of it" for way too long. What is wrong with my son???

[isis]

I'm so sorry this was your first experience. Of course you're disappointed! You went to a professional, who then did not deliver a professional evaluation. They are not all like that!
I would not fill the resperdal. He did not get a full evaluation or full consideration in 15 minutes. It seems to me you would like the first medication you try to be one thoughtfully chosen (its not like you took your kid to be evaluated for an ear infection! geez, 15 minutes).
I agree with getting neuropsychologist like everyone is saying, and finding a new psychiatrist. Close the door on that psychiatrist, do not go back. If you find a good psychologist to do the neuropscyh evaluation, they should be able to refer you to a good psychiatrist.

I agree with doing some legwork to find a good pscyhologist for the neuropsychologist evaluation. Ask your pediatrician, your son's educators, and start just asking around. You might be surprised who in your community has been down this path. Try to figure out where in your community there are respected children's psychologists. It might happen again (that you meet someone who does not help you); I hope your next encounter with the system is better. It is very confusing why this is so hard for so many of us (to find the right people to help).

Also, 15 minutes for a first appointment is beyond disappointing. If you have the time and mental energy, once you receive the bill I would consider investigating what you are charged. A first time evaluation/consultation in most fields in medicines requires a comprehensive evaluation to be billed as a new consult (i.e. extensive history taking etc; it takes longer than 15 minutes!). If it were me, I would find out what level you were billed and consider disputing the charges unless you were billed a very low level. I can help you with this if you want to look into it (of course you won't get the bill for while). If its not really costing you anything, then its probably worth just moving on.

 

[OCmama]

I got the ball rolling for an evaluation/testing done by a neuropsychologist at a Children's Hospital. My appointment won't be until Jan/Feb. What should I do in the meantime? Should I try getting in with an Occupational Therapist (OT)? Thanks so much for all of your comments and suggestions. We had a really difficult weekend but there is something comforting about knowing that I am not alone anymore.

 

[InsaneCdn]

If you are able to get in with an Occupational Therapist (OT) for an evaluation there, it wouldn't hurt.
Children's hospital evaluations are often good... nothing in life is guaranteed! And a Jan/Feb appointment timeframe is FAST!

Has anyone suggested reading "The Explosive Child" yet?

 

[isis]

Yes, read The Explosive Child. There is another good one that I can't remember the name of right now - the developing mind or something. I'll post it.
In the meantime, unfortunately, I know of no quick answers for cooling off behavior. I would recommend nurture nurture nurture. If I remember right from your original post you are already doing this. A lot of these kids have (or probably have) a deep sense of shame that acts as fuel to their behavior. Know that when he is acting out, he is feeling as bad as he is acting (you probably already know that).
Remember from your own experience that overstimulation should be avoided, so during the holiday season stay away from the typical kid things that are WAY overstimulating.
When he starts to go downhill, redirect by offering to read him a story. Make sure he is always fed (many of these kids lose it when they are hungry and never seem to know when they are hungry) and warm (many of these kids are also not great at temperature regulation so at 6 yrs they don't get to say they don't need a jacket). Give him a bath with lavendar, warm milk and a story at bedtime. Sing a song. Tell him over and over that you love him, and tell him right after he 'misbehaves'. It can be hard to scrap the dinner you were planning to make for one that is quicker because you end up spending time comforting him in whatever way works, but it ends up being worth it. It can be hard to feel like the family's life is on hold while you focus on him, but until you get more help its probably the only way to keep more peace.
If you already do all this, then maybe there is some comfort in being confirmed that you are doing the right things. Also, in knowing that it will get better as you get more help.

And THEN, make sure you are not totally depleted by scheduling what you need for yourself: exercise time, rest time, partner time, entertainment time. Whatever it is, you won't get it unless you prioritize and schedule it (none of us get enough, but anyway).

 

[buddy]

Great! Yes, there's no harm, no interference that would come from an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation. Ask for motor and sensory integration. Bring the results to your neuropsychologist. Jan-feb is not too long of a wait for this so Congrats!.

The hunger, temp idea is true for us. Also any small pains. I have a snack on the table for when q comes home. Often almost a meal. Soup, sandwich, veggies, fruit.... I don't worry if it reduces supper appetite. I'd rather he be on an even keel.

Hang in there. So much of this kind of parenting is trying to head things off and teach new skills. Hard for others to interpret when it seems we are giving in or spoiling. Really we become amazing at picking and choosing battles!

 

[DDD]

You're doing a great job...Way To Go! I'm delighted you got an appointment. so quickly. Hugs DDD

 

[isis]

"Yes, read The Explosive Child. There is another good one that I can't remember the name of right now - the developing mind or something. I'll post it."

Found it: The Whole Brain Child, also good in terms of thinking about how kids learn. He's talking about 'normal' kids, but I think if you're new to reading about this sort of stuff its helpful in terms of evaluating what we expect of our kids when and our parenting.

 

[OCmama]

UPDATE

I haven't posted here for a while so I wanted to give a quick update. We completed out neuropsychologist assessments in April and my son was diagnosed with a mood disorder not otherwise specified. he had several markers for aspbergers and ADHD but they did not give him a diagnosis for either (yet). I wasn't really looking for a diagnosis I was just on a mission for help, a road map, a parenting mentor, support, and someone to tell me it's not his fault and it's not my fault. Well I found all of these things that I wanted. I read The Explosive Child on the recommendations given to me on this site. We have been using the methods for a while now and it is really helping. I recently finished a 12 hour course on the method. It has been hands down the best 12 hours I have spent in a classroom. I am getting pretty good at Plan B I have lots of course materials in email format. If anyone out there is interested in taking a closer look at collaborative problem solving please message me. I would be happy to share what I have learned. Hugs to all.

 

[ksm]

UPDATE. If anyone out there is interested in taking a closer look at collaborative problem solving please message me. I would be happy to share what I have learned. Hugs to all.

not sure how to private message you - but I would be interested in learning more! KSM

 

[BusynMember]

I'm not sure, but think this is a very old post.

 

[ksm]

it is an old post - but the original poster came back and gave an update. KSM

 

[BusynMember]

Oh, ok, ksm. Sorry. I didn't see that! Hope she writes ya back.

 

[DDD]

If you are monitoring the Board I just want to say, lol, one more time...Way To Go. You are a great parent. DDD

 

[TiredSoul]

I'm not sure, but think this is a very old post.

It's a current update by the op OCmama - to an old post.

 

[TiredSoul]

It's a current update by the op OCmama - to an old post.

Tried to delete my post (didn't see the other replies) and it won't let me. Sorry.