Birthday woes

[ANewLife4Me]

My daughter’s birthday is coming up this week and she is spending it in jail. March 1st has been 1 year since she decided to leave our home, have not seen her since. It’s so difficult to not rush in this time, to go see her while she is in jail, to ignore her calls to bail her out and changed my phone number. While this is extremely difficult I have to keep reminding myself how it actually was when she lived with us and do not want to go through that ever again.

Crazy how our emotions play with us huh? This week is a rough one. I will remain firm in our decision but dang, sure would love to see and talk to her. Maybe down the road she hopefully gets her life together. I can only pray she does.

 

[New Leaf]

Hi Newlife,
Special occasions can bring up emotions in us for our wayward adult children. I’m sorry for the sadness that you are feeling.

My daughter’s birthday is coming up this week and she is spending it in jail.

For sure not an outcome that we anticipated while raising our kids. I hope she is receiving the help she needs.

It’s so difficult to not rush in this time, to go see her while she is in jail, to ignore her calls to bail her out and changed my phone number. While this is extremely difficult I have to keep reminding myself how it actually was when she lived with us and do not want to go through that ever again.

As you have posted, your daughter can be abusive to you. While it is hard to go no contact, sometimes it is necessary for our own sanity.

This week is a rough one. I will remain firm in our decision but dang, sure would love to see and talk to her. Maybe down the road she hopefully gets her life together. I can only pray she does.

I hope you are able to process your sadness. I understand how difficult it is. It is grieving loved ones who are still living, and that is a tough road to be on. I have learned that jail is not the worst thing that could happen to my daughter. She has a chance to sober up and lots of time to think about her choices. I still have hope for her to come round, but after this last encounter with her know that I need to guard my heart even more. Know that although it hurts, you are making decisions for your own health and safety and that’s paramount. By setting boundaries you are showing your daughter that you will not tolerate disrespect and abuse. That is a good thing for her and for you.
Hang in there. I hope with each passing day you are feeling better.
Hugs
New Leaf

 

[ANewLife4Me]

I am so sorry NewLeaf that I understand your pain all too well. Her being in jail does give me a moment of peace, as you said she should be thinking on her situation and choices for the future, I pray she is doing so. I think we will always be engaged in some way to our children’s choices but as we know, it’s us who need to step back and take control, hard as that is.

Big hugs!