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PatriotsGirl
Guest
I am applying for my license to carry today. I am hoping to talk to someone there...
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
I don't know what county she is in. I don't know where she is. She is in hiding and won't tell me where...I was thinking of driving straight to the FBI....
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
I told husband. I couldn't keep it all inside anymore. I broke down and told him everything. He doesn't discount anything she is saying either. I asked him if they would kill her over 20k and he said if they are as bad as the people he used to run with, yes.
He doesn't know what to do either except get her out of town adn even then we don't know where we can send her. He said she needs to change her hair, hair color, and get out of this state. Other than that, we cannot get involved because we have easy child to think about and any repurcussions could affect him.
I am devastated. I just don't know what to do. I am going to go talk to someone but I don't even know if they can help. It is just not fair that she finally gets clean, finally regrets her past and now they are out to kill her and she may not get a future. WTF am I going to do??
He doesn't know what to do either except get her out of town adn even then we don't know where we can send her. He said she needs to change her hair, hair color, and get out of this state. Other than that, we cannot get involved because we have easy child to think about and any repurcussions could affect him.
I am devastated. I just don't know what to do. I am going to go talk to someone but I don't even know if they can help. It is just not fair that she finally gets clean, finally regrets her past and now they are out to kill her and she may not get a future. WTF am I going to do??
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Signorina
Guest
I would buy a disposable phone and call the DEA and the ATF. After exhausting all possibilities anonymously- this is my last resort.
I am not sure if its feasible- but this is the only idea I have...
Find a rehab out of state in 6-12 hours driving distance that will take her immediately.
Borrow a car, buy a prepaid disposable phone but do not use it. Tell her to meet you somewhere public. Bring her a change if clothes and a hat, plus a packed bag of necessities. Leave behind everything she owns- especially her cell phone. Leave your own phone behind. Drive her straight to rehab. Do not let her contact anyone. Do not get out of the car unless absolutely necessary. DO NOT use credit cards. (In fact, have your h use your card to buy some gas or something easy so it looks like you're in town. Tell him to make some calls on your cell phone too.) Give her Tylenol pm and tell her to go to sleep if you have to. Do not use a GPS. Drop her off. Drive another 200 miles get a hotel room, spend the night, pay cash. Drive home.
If you have to rent a car- do it - but turn it in wherever you spend the night and get a new one. Do not make any reservations.
Godspeed.
That's all I have.
I am not sure if its feasible- but this is the only idea I have...
Find a rehab out of state in 6-12 hours driving distance that will take her immediately.
Borrow a car, buy a prepaid disposable phone but do not use it. Tell her to meet you somewhere public. Bring her a change if clothes and a hat, plus a packed bag of necessities. Leave behind everything she owns- especially her cell phone. Leave your own phone behind. Drive her straight to rehab. Do not let her contact anyone. Do not get out of the car unless absolutely necessary. DO NOT use credit cards. (In fact, have your h use your card to buy some gas or something easy so it looks like you're in town. Tell him to make some calls on your cell phone too.) Give her Tylenol pm and tell her to go to sleep if you have to. Do not use a GPS. Drop her off. Drive another 200 miles get a hotel room, spend the night, pay cash. Drive home.
If you have to rent a car- do it - but turn it in wherever you spend the night and get a new one. Do not make any reservations.
Godspeed.
That's all I have.
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
You mean they could be tracking me???
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Signorina
Guest
I think it's unlikely they have any interest in you- but you said they are tracking her. I assume your number is on her cell records. If you are going to spirit her away, I think you should be off the grid completely while you do it. Just to be on the safe side so that she can't be found. In for a dime, in for a dollar; Know what I mean??
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
well I went to the top I went straight to the FBI office in talk to an FBI agent. What a lovely waste of time that was. They cannot help me if she will not come in and talk the only advice they had was to get her to come in and talk to them...she won't.
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
She thinks if she takes off, they will come after us. I don't think they would track down her family over that amount. The FBI agent also mentioned it was a small amount. But she thinks she is in major trouble...yet tells me to not worry about her. Like I can just shut that off??? Uh no.
I do feel so much better telling husband. It was far too much to keep alone...
I heard back from the director after I asked her for advice. At first she thought it was meth delusions but I told her difficult child told me this sober and I told her more details difficult child told me. Her response was oh my God. I haven't heard from her since....
I do feel so much better telling husband. It was far too much to keep alone...
I heard back from the director after I asked her for advice. At first she thought it was meth delusions but I told her difficult child told me this sober and I told her more details difficult child told me. Her response was oh my God. I haven't heard from her since....
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
I haven't heard back from her. My opinion of the program director isn't exactly high anymore...
Seems there is nothing I can do if she won't talk. She won't leave state because she is afraid they will then come after us (husband and I are not worried - I dare anyone to come here and try anything).
She tells me not to worry about her, that she is protected and has people watching out for her. She said if I keep worrying so much she is going to have to act like she never got clean and cut off contact so that I don't kill myself with the stress. She doesn't understand that would be FAR worse. But I can honestly say, a relapse would have been so much easier to deal with! Then I could be angry and enjoy my holidays in spite of it. But this?? I can't enjoy a thing.
Seems there is nothing I can do if she won't talk. She won't leave state because she is afraid they will then come after us (husband and I are not worried - I dare anyone to come here and try anything).
She tells me not to worry about her, that she is protected and has people watching out for her. She said if I keep worrying so much she is going to have to act like she never got clean and cut off contact so that I don't kill myself with the stress. She doesn't understand that would be FAR worse. But I can honestly say, a relapse would have been so much easier to deal with! Then I could be angry and enjoy my holidays in spite of it. But this?? I can't enjoy a thing.
Calamity Jane
Well-Known Member
Why don't you give the program director a call today? I'd be very curious why she never got back to you. Seems weird.
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
The sober house - difficult child was hoping she could give advice but obviously the lady wants nothing to do with any of it.
As for the DEA, the FBI agent yesterday told me that difficult child has to be willing to talk in order for anyone to help her. She is not willing.
I had a thought, though.....if they were tracing difficult child's phone, they would know where she is at all times because she always uses it. Wouldn't they have killed her by now if they were going to? She has been on the run for over a week now. And yesterday, I told her I would get her a new phone number and SIM card and she hemmed and hawed over it and I couldn't understand why. If you thought you were being traced, wouldn't you jump at getting a replacement?
Certain things are not adding up but still, I don't think it is a risk I wish to take...
But if I find she did make all of this up, I could probably never speak to her again. This has really put me through you know what...
PG I have to admit a lot of things don't add up to me but I really really want to be supportive of you and the last thing I want to do is driv eyou away from posting here because we all care about you and I would be very upset if you didn't feel that we understood or supported you.
PG, therer are so many glaring things here that make me go hmmm. If she was being tracked or followed she would certainly not want to continue using that phone. Her threat to stop communicating with you and pretending like she never got sober so that you won't worry is very difficult to understand. She knows you are worrying anyway and wouldn't it be convenient if you took her for a drug test and she was positive just to say she did it to make you stop worrying. The fact that she will not trust ANY law enforcement agency makes no sense. Although there may be some bad cops they are not all bad and they are not all in a conspiracy with the DEA and FBI and DA. She is 19 years old and should be scared out of her wits if there was a drug cartel following her and demanding money. If she was clean and sober she wouldn't care who she told as long as there was some reasonable expectation of security.
Every attempt you have made to help her has been met with resistance. What if you offered to give her 20k? I bet she would take it. She can't give up her phone number because I assume she is trying to raise 20k from her contacts. Doesn't that tell you she is doing something illegal? She won't meet you anywhere because she is afraid for your safety. I wonder if she doesn't want to meet you because you will see what the real story is.
When you step back and look at everything from afar it all sounds so far fetched. In my gut I don't thing there is a drug cartel at all. Who are these people that are protecting her? Are they drug addicts too? Are they running from the cartel also? What are her plans? How is she trying to raise this money or does she plan on paying them back at all? She went from having no contact with you at all before going into the sober house to now being so concerned for your safety that she will not let you help her. It makes no sense. Just because an addict stops using they don't stop lying and sneaking. Many of those behaviors take years to change.
And the big question of all....is she willing to meet you at a lab and have a drug test done today?
Please know I say these things out of a great deal of concern for you and because I have been around drug addicts long enough to know that they just cannot be trusted. I am so worried that you are setting yourself up for a huge fall.
Of course I am not in this situation so it is easy to say what I would do but I'm going to anyway. I would have a very hard time not screaming from the rooftops that a drug cartel was after my finally recovered addict daughter who is now trying to get her life in order but is being chased by these goons and our government/law enforcement officers have got to go after this cartel and protect my daughter or I am going to every newspaper in the country with my story. Of course I once blocked the drive of a drug house my difficult child was in until the police came and although they were a far cry from a drug cartel I was ready to fight them with my bare hands if necessary.
I understand you are very torn but I believe in your heart you are asking the kind of questions you need to in order to sort this out.
As always I care about you as a member of our family here and recognize that neither alternative is a good one.
Nancy
PG, therer are so many glaring things here that make me go hmmm. If she was being tracked or followed she would certainly not want to continue using that phone. Her threat to stop communicating with you and pretending like she never got sober so that you won't worry is very difficult to understand. She knows you are worrying anyway and wouldn't it be convenient if you took her for a drug test and she was positive just to say she did it to make you stop worrying. The fact that she will not trust ANY law enforcement agency makes no sense. Although there may be some bad cops they are not all bad and they are not all in a conspiracy with the DEA and FBI and DA. She is 19 years old and should be scared out of her wits if there was a drug cartel following her and demanding money. If she was clean and sober she wouldn't care who she told as long as there was some reasonable expectation of security.
Every attempt you have made to help her has been met with resistance. What if you offered to give her 20k? I bet she would take it. She can't give up her phone number because I assume she is trying to raise 20k from her contacts. Doesn't that tell you she is doing something illegal? She won't meet you anywhere because she is afraid for your safety. I wonder if she doesn't want to meet you because you will see what the real story is.
When you step back and look at everything from afar it all sounds so far fetched. In my gut I don't thing there is a drug cartel at all. Who are these people that are protecting her? Are they drug addicts too? Are they running from the cartel also? What are her plans? How is she trying to raise this money or does she plan on paying them back at all? She went from having no contact with you at all before going into the sober house to now being so concerned for your safety that she will not let you help her. It makes no sense. Just because an addict stops using they don't stop lying and sneaking. Many of those behaviors take years to change.
And the big question of all....is she willing to meet you at a lab and have a drug test done today?
Please know I say these things out of a great deal of concern for you and because I have been around drug addicts long enough to know that they just cannot be trusted. I am so worried that you are setting yourself up for a huge fall.
Of course I am not in this situation so it is easy to say what I would do but I'm going to anyway. I would have a very hard time not screaming from the rooftops that a drug cartel was after my finally recovered addict daughter who is now trying to get her life in order but is being chased by these goons and our government/law enforcement officers have got to go after this cartel and protect my daughter or I am going to every newspaper in the country with my story. Of course I once blocked the drive of a drug house my difficult child was in until the police came and although they were a far cry from a drug cartel I was ready to fight them with my bare hands if necessary.
I understand you are very torn but I believe in your heart you are asking the kind of questions you need to in order to sort this out.
As always I care about you as a member of our family here and recognize that neither alternative is a good one.
Nancy
PG, I think many of us have the same concerns that Nancy does.
That sounds like something my difficult child would say if she was drinking or using . . trying to put it off on me somehow. If there is a possibility that your difficult child is using, this could be meth induced paranoia or hallucinations. Proving she is clean would be the first step for me.
Regardless whether this is true or not, we are all here for you and understand your panic and worry. I would be the same way.
by the way, I don't understand why the sober house director would not call you back whether she believes the story or not.
~Kathy
That sounds like something my difficult child would say if she was drinking or using . . trying to put it off on me somehow. If there is a possibility that your difficult child is using, this could be meth induced paranoia or hallucinations. Proving she is clean would be the first step for me.
Regardless whether this is true or not, we are all here for you and understand your panic and worry. I would be the same way.
by the way, I don't understand why the sober house director would not call you back whether she believes the story or not.
~Kathy
T
toughlovin
Guest
PG I have been thinking of you a lot... and I have had the same thoughts as Nancy. It does not really add up and so I am really wondering if she has relapsed and is trying to play you somehow.
But of course none of us know and I certainly can understand the panic and worry that you feel.
So it seems to me that you have totally been there for your daughter as she faces this crisis. You have offered her a lot of options and she is not taking any of them. The hard reality that we are all in, is that you cant save her if she doesnt want to be saved. I know the things you are imagining happening to her are truly terrible but there is nothing you can do if she does not want to help herself.
The one thing I would do is to call the DEA. I would call them and explain that your daughter (or friend if you feel more comfortable) has had a past drug addiction. She is now telling you this story that this drug cartel is after her and you dont know what to believe. Is it possible or likely that they would come after her like she says for 20k? If you get a good person they might at least be able to give you a reality check one way or another. I think the DEA is the better place to call than the FBI.
Hugs.... I know this is terrifying for you and we are all here for you.
TL
But of course none of us know and I certainly can understand the panic and worry that you feel.
So it seems to me that you have totally been there for your daughter as she faces this crisis. You have offered her a lot of options and she is not taking any of them. The hard reality that we are all in, is that you cant save her if she doesnt want to be saved. I know the things you are imagining happening to her are truly terrible but there is nothing you can do if she does not want to help herself.
The one thing I would do is to call the DEA. I would call them and explain that your daughter (or friend if you feel more comfortable) has had a past drug addiction. She is now telling you this story that this drug cartel is after her and you dont know what to believe. Is it possible or likely that they would come after her like she says for 20k? If you get a good person they might at least be able to give you a reality check one way or another. I think the DEA is the better place to call than the FBI.
Hugs.... I know this is terrifying for you and we are all here for you.
TL
Hopingforthe best
Member
PG,
I am sorry for what you are going through and i feel for you. Strange thing, i thought i had posted a reply earlier in the day but i think it got lost somewhere!
Anyway, my opinion is similar to what Nancy and TL have written in the above replies.
I know the fear that you feel because i was feeling the same a few weeks ago. When my difficult child was using just a few weeks ago, he was also hanging around members of a local gang. The stories that he has been telling me makes me scared for him even though he has been clean and away from these people for six weeks. But, one thing that gang members don't do is threaten one of their own even where money is concerned and so, if your difficult child was truly hanging around these people, they would probably not result to violence towards her. Most gang members/drug dealers will mostly go after a rival gang to protect their business and tuff. Also these dealers/gang are busy on the streets doing whatever they do so i doubt they would be able to keep tabs on difficult child the way she describes.
I know you tried to talk to the FBI, but if you have any connection at your local police station, maybe you could try to talk to somebody in the gang unit because they monitor all gang activities and they would know if difficult child is affiliated with these people. Additionally, if difficult child has a twitter account that's not private, check and see what her friends are writing. I found twitter more helpful than facebook because kids tend to write more and one friend can lead you to another and you can put one plus one together and know what's going on in the streets. I found that even these kids in gangs also maintain twitter and facebook and difficult child might have some as friends on both social sites.
Again, sorry for what you are going through and i hope everything cools down soon. ((hugs)).
I am sorry for what you are going through and i feel for you. Strange thing, i thought i had posted a reply earlier in the day but i think it got lost somewhere!
Anyway, my opinion is similar to what Nancy and TL have written in the above replies.
I know the fear that you feel because i was feeling the same a few weeks ago. When my difficult child was using just a few weeks ago, he was also hanging around members of a local gang. The stories that he has been telling me makes me scared for him even though he has been clean and away from these people for six weeks. But, one thing that gang members don't do is threaten one of their own even where money is concerned and so, if your difficult child was truly hanging around these people, they would probably not result to violence towards her. Most gang members/drug dealers will mostly go after a rival gang to protect their business and tuff. Also these dealers/gang are busy on the streets doing whatever they do so i doubt they would be able to keep tabs on difficult child the way she describes.
I know you tried to talk to the FBI, but if you have any connection at your local police station, maybe you could try to talk to somebody in the gang unit because they monitor all gang activities and they would know if difficult child is affiliated with these people. Additionally, if difficult child has a twitter account that's not private, check and see what her friends are writing. I found twitter more helpful than facebook because kids tend to write more and one friend can lead you to another and you can put one plus one together and know what's going on in the streets. I found that even these kids in gangs also maintain twitter and facebook and difficult child might have some as friends on both social sites.
Again, sorry for what you are going through and i hope everything cools down soon. ((hugs)).
