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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 739050" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I think that is one of the hard things about having a kid who goes off the rails like we have..... somehow having to justify that we were reasonable good parents. The idea that our adult childrens behavior is due to our parenting.... maybe that is true in some cases but honestly by the time a person is an adult they are responsible for who they are and what they do. It is not on us as their parents. One of the things that helped me the most about going to Alanon was meeting other good reasonable parents who had kids who had drug problems, who had been in jail, who did awful things.... and I realized I was not alone and in fact this was not somehow my fault.</p><p></p><p>HH you do sound strong... and you are absolutely right to figure out what you need and what works for you at this point. And you dont need to justify that to anyone.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 739050, member: 15801"] I think that is one of the hard things about having a kid who goes off the rails like we have..... somehow having to justify that we were reasonable good parents. The idea that our adult childrens behavior is due to our parenting.... maybe that is true in some cases but honestly by the time a person is an adult they are responsible for who they are and what they do. It is not on us as their parents. One of the things that helped me the most about going to Alanon was meeting other good reasonable parents who had kids who had drug problems, who had been in jail, who did awful things.... and I realized I was not alone and in fact this was not somehow my fault. HH you do sound strong... and you are absolutely right to figure out what you need and what works for you at this point. And you dont need to justify that to anyone. TL [/QUOTE]
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