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Codendency
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 753530" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>That is good advice, Busy. You are so right: I can't expect the house to be clean when I leave it in others' hands. The expectation creates my own resentment. </p><p></p><p>I don't speak up with my husband bevause he is very sensitive in the relationship department. He sometimes makes comments that I don't love him the way he loves me. Or says "kiss me like you mean it". My skin crawls when he constantly rubs my back , constantly kisses me and says "I love you" 30 times a day. And you are right: I need to speak up. I need to say "not now". I need to say "this feels too much at the moment". He follows me around the house, checks in with me to tell me every detail of what he did on projects that I have no technical knowledge of . I have told him time and time again that I don't care to hear all these details and he keeps doing it. </p><p></p><p>Yes, boundary setting and speaking up. I need to push past the uncomfortability and just do it. I even have a crystal around my neck that is supposed to help me with it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 753530, member: 24254"] That is good advice, Busy. You are so right: I can't expect the house to be clean when I leave it in others' hands. The expectation creates my own resentment. I don't speak up with my husband bevause he is very sensitive in the relationship department. He sometimes makes comments that I don't love him the way he loves me. Or says "kiss me like you mean it". My skin crawls when he constantly rubs my back , constantly kisses me and says "I love you" 30 times a day. And you are right: I need to speak up. I need to say "not now". I need to say "this feels too much at the moment". He follows me around the house, checks in with me to tell me every detail of what he did on projects that I have no technical knowledge of . I have told him time and time again that I don't care to hear all these details and he keeps doing it. Yes, boundary setting and speaking up. I need to push past the uncomfortability and just do it. I even have a crystal around my neck that is supposed to help me with it. [/QUOTE]
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