Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Coming along....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 750910" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>I am not sure why that is. I think that we all create our own reality in how we perceive and process things. </p><p></p><p>I agree that it's ultimately their way of blaming and not wanting to take responsibility for their own lives and decisions. It's victim mode. The bars are full of people drinking because they got a raw deal. Their problem is hundreds of fears, self pity , self serving, and self delusion.</p><p></p><p>Both of my Difficult Child have "stories" of what we have done that they call abuse that neither my husband nor I remember. DC1 also flips everything around on me . I used to throw elaborate birthday parties for my kids with a Lot of love and effort. He told me I did that for me not for him, therefore he discredits it. At first I defended myself but that made it worse and we went into circular discussions that led nowhere. So finally I just said "Ok, your childhood memories belong to you and nobody can say anything about your experience". That stopped most of it. When he does come up with blame etc, I say I don't accept blame today and I walk away . He went to my daughter after that and asked her for other stories from childhood meaning he doesn't even remember horrible incidents other than the 1-2 he likes to hit is with and wanted/ needed more ammunition </p><p></p><p>One story is that husband asked him to pull weeds and he refused and gave lip and husband got frustrated with the back and forth and squirted DC1 with hose on the legs. This is what he calls abuse!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 750910, member: 24254"] I am not sure why that is. I think that we all create our own reality in how we perceive and process things. I agree that it's ultimately their way of blaming and not wanting to take responsibility for their own lives and decisions. It's victim mode. The bars are full of people drinking because they got a raw deal. Their problem is hundreds of fears, self pity , self serving, and self delusion. Both of my Difficult Child have "stories" of what we have done that they call abuse that neither my husband nor I remember. DC1 also flips everything around on me . I used to throw elaborate birthday parties for my kids with a Lot of love and effort. He told me I did that for me not for him, therefore he discredits it. At first I defended myself but that made it worse and we went into circular discussions that led nowhere. So finally I just said "Ok, your childhood memories belong to you and nobody can say anything about your experience". That stopped most of it. When he does come up with blame etc, I say I don't accept blame today and I walk away . He went to my daughter after that and asked her for other stories from childhood meaning he doesn't even remember horrible incidents other than the 1-2 he likes to hit is with and wanted/ needed more ammunition One story is that husband asked him to pull weeds and he refused and gave lip and husband got frustrated with the back and forth and squirted DC1 with hose on the legs. This is what he calls abuse! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Coming along....
Top