Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Confused and hurt
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 752615" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Welcome Louise,</p><p></p><p>My situation is not like yours but I do currently have an estranged 30 yr. old son who is homeless and a 26 yr. old son, who is also homeless but has recently started to communicate with me again.</p><p></p><p>I'm the one who over the last few months has disconnected with older son due to his verbal/threatening abuse towards me.</p><p></p><p>Some of the things I had to ask myself were....</p><p></p><p>Is this relationship I want with my son a healthy one or do I want it so badly just because I need contact with him?</p><p></p><p>If I were to try to patch things up with him, with some kind forgiving words on my part (because he is entitled and thinks everything is my fault), would the reunion last very long before another tumultuous outburst of anger and hatred was spewed at me when I didn't tell him what he wanted to hear?</p><p></p><p>Maybe your daughter sees "the past" differently than you do. Some of us on this forum have discussed how our adult children see their childhood and the reality of it in a totally, untrue, bizarre way than it really was.</p><p></p><p>There really is no convincing them otherwise. To them it is reality and we are to blame for it. </p><p></p><p>I agree with you that one comment about something she posted on f/b shouldn't constitute this behavior. Have you had other issues with her in the past where she has not seen eye to eye with you? If so, how long did that last before you could reconcile with her? Is this a pattern of hers to banish you from her life until she feels you are punished sufficiently?</p><p></p><p>If I were you, I would take time to focus on myself. Nurture and care for yourself and do things that make you feel good. You are being controlled by her even though she is not in your life. Take back your control and love yourself like the child of God that you are.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes, these adult children can make us feel like the worst parents and degrade us and disrespect us. After awhile, there's a little part of us that starts to believe it because we know we weren't perfect. But no parent deserves such harsh disrespect.</p><p></p><p>Focus on yourself, pray for yourself and your daughter. Ask God to open up and soften her harden heart.</p><p></p><p>Sending prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 752615, member: 23405"] Welcome Louise, My situation is not like yours but I do currently have an estranged 30 yr. old son who is homeless and a 26 yr. old son, who is also homeless but has recently started to communicate with me again. I'm the one who over the last few months has disconnected with older son due to his verbal/threatening abuse towards me. Some of the things I had to ask myself were.... Is this relationship I want with my son a healthy one or do I want it so badly just because I need contact with him? If I were to try to patch things up with him, with some kind forgiving words on my part (because he is entitled and thinks everything is my fault), would the reunion last very long before another tumultuous outburst of anger and hatred was spewed at me when I didn't tell him what he wanted to hear? Maybe your daughter sees "the past" differently than you do. Some of us on this forum have discussed how our adult children see their childhood and the reality of it in a totally, untrue, bizarre way than it really was. There really is no convincing them otherwise. To them it is reality and we are to blame for it. I agree with you that one comment about something she posted on f/b shouldn't constitute this behavior. Have you had other issues with her in the past where she has not seen eye to eye with you? If so, how long did that last before you could reconcile with her? Is this a pattern of hers to banish you from her life until she feels you are punished sufficiently? If I were you, I would take time to focus on myself. Nurture and care for yourself and do things that make you feel good. You are being controlled by her even though she is not in your life. Take back your control and love yourself like the child of God that you are. Sometimes, these adult children can make us feel like the worst parents and degrade us and disrespect us. After awhile, there's a little part of us that starts to believe it because we know we weren't perfect. But no parent deserves such harsh disrespect. Focus on yourself, pray for yourself and your daughter. Ask God to open up and soften her harden heart. Sending prayers. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Confused and hurt
Top