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Confused and hurt
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752643" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Yes, it is.</p><p></p><p>I'm happy for you. Very. Those of us with nice kids along with difficult ones are blessed. Sure, we want them ALL to be doing well, but we at least do have beloved good kids who love us. Why is it that we so often focus mostly on our stumbling adult kids who act as if they hate us?</p><p></p><p>So many of us spend most of our time obsessing over our one child who is disrespectful and won't get help. Do we need approval from our entire family so we keep trying? Do we hurt so much for our kid who doesn't hurt for us that we never give up until it's almost too late to save our relationships with others? I don't know. Why, why, why. I hate that word.</p><p></p><p>There must be a lot of us who feel like Kay probably feels. She doesn't know her motivation for how she behaves. I don't know why I put Kay first either. Both Kay and I have snippets of understanding, but we can't explain our behavior in clear, concise ways or in one or two sentences.</p><p></p><p>I will no longer ruminate over all the whys. I will focus on what IS. Not why it is.</p><p></p><p>I made a horrible mistake with my two kids who acted right. My husband did too. We were fortunate enough to have this second chance and we are running with it.</p><p></p><p>This is a vent for myself more than anything else. I apologize if I am out of place. Venting here helps me a lot.</p><p></p><p>No more whys for me. No more trying to figure out why Kay does this or why I do that. I will never really know. I am dealing in the now with no rumination over why this and why that. And no more making up stories in my head about the future. That's another thing. No more stories about the future for me. My crystal ball is foggy</p><p></p><p>God bless you all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752643, member: 23706"] Yes, it is. I'm happy for you. Very. Those of us with nice kids along with difficult ones are blessed. Sure, we want them ALL to be doing well, but we at least do have beloved good kids who love us. Why is it that we so often focus mostly on our stumbling adult kids who act as if they hate us? So many of us spend most of our time obsessing over our one child who is disrespectful and won't get help. Do we need approval from our entire family so we keep trying? Do we hurt so much for our kid who doesn't hurt for us that we never give up until it's almost too late to save our relationships with others? I don't know. Why, why, why. I hate that word. There must be a lot of us who feel like Kay probably feels. She doesn't know her motivation for how she behaves. I don't know why I put Kay first either. Both Kay and I have snippets of understanding, but we can't explain our behavior in clear, concise ways or in one or two sentences. I will no longer ruminate over all the whys. I will focus on what IS. Not why it is. I made a horrible mistake with my two kids who acted right. My husband did too. We were fortunate enough to have this second chance and we are running with it. This is a vent for myself more than anything else. I apologize if I am out of place. Venting here helps me a lot. No more whys for me. No more trying to figure out why Kay does this or why I do that. I will never really know. I am dealing in the now with no rumination over why this and why that. And no more making up stories in my head about the future. That's another thing. No more stories about the future for me. My crystal ball is foggy God bless you all. [/QUOTE]
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