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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 755277" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am in the same spot you're in. My son lies constantly. I am constantly angry, frustrated and destabilized.</p><p></p><p>While I think lying is horrible, I do not lie, and don't remember ever having lied as a practice, I think it's possible to love somebody who lies. I think it's possible to get in touch with my own heart, even about a lying person. I think it's possible to insulate myself from the effects of my son's lies, to some extent, by either moderating my own expectations, limiting contact with him, or changing my expectations about myself. </p><p></p><p>I have read a lot recently that the millennial generation has a different attitude about lying and truth, than do baby boomers. Even in the current political situation there is a shift in attitudes about truth. I am not taking a position one way or another on this this cultural shift. But I wish I didn't bang my head against realities over which I have not one iota of control.</p><p></p><p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)">This is the only son I have. My only child. My only life.</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)">To me, the choice seems simple, at least when I see it <em>in your life, not my own.</em></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms'"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)"><p style="text-align: left">I can rail and rail and rail at the fact my son lies. Or I can dig in and find my heart. It's just that simple. When I won't accept reality, who do I hurt, really? I hurt myself. The reality is that my son lies. The question is, is there another reality that's important too. The love I have for him. The love he has for me. The commitment I feel to him. I can make the choice to have these things carry the day. Or not.</p><p></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 755277, member: 18958"] I am in the same spot you're in. My son lies constantly. I am constantly angry, frustrated and destabilized. [I][/I] While I think lying is horrible, I do not lie, and don't remember ever having lied as a practice, I think it's possible to love somebody who lies. I think it's possible to get in touch with my own heart, even about a lying person. I think it's possible to insulate myself from the effects of my son's lies, to some extent, by either moderating my own expectations, limiting contact with him, or changing my expectations about myself. I have read a lot recently that the millennial generation has a different attitude about lying and truth, than do baby boomers. Even in the current political situation there is a shift in attitudes about truth. I am not taking a position one way or another on this this cultural shift. But I wish I didn't bang my head against realities over which I have not one iota of control. [LEFT][FONT=trebuchet ms][COLOR=rgb(20, 20, 20)]This is the only son I have. My only child. My only life. To me, the choice seems simple, at least when I see it [I]in your life, not my own.[/I] [I][/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/LEFT] [FONT=trebuchet ms][COLOR=rgb(20, 20, 20)][LEFT]I can rail and rail and rail at the fact my son lies. Or I can dig in and find my heart. It's just that simple. When I won't accept reality, who do I hurt, really? I hurt myself. The reality is that my son lies. The question is, is there another reality that's important too. The love I have for him. The love he has for me. The commitment I feel to him. I can make the choice to have these things carry the day. Or not.[/LEFT][/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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