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General Parenting
Coping with the new normal
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<blockquote data-quote="Baggy Bags" data-source="post: 738020" data-attributes="member: 22819"><p>I remember the first time I read you thinking "omg, these poor parents! On top of everything, no contact!" And here I am now in the same place. No contact with son for two months, except for one recent call in which he threatened to do "something" if I didn't send him all his clothes.</p><p></p><p>But yes, life does go on. As sad as it is for us that our kids don't want a relationship with us, it is ultimately a choice they make and a choice that they will have to live with. My son, at least, is very mistaken if he thinks I'm sitting in a corner crying all day because he won't talk to me. The tears are there, under the surface, but I'll be damned if I'm going to drown myself in this misery.</p><p></p><p>I tried to get my son back for a year. But it was useless because he was already gone. Maybe I just needed that year to wrap my head around the fact that I loved this person more than I've loved anyone in my life, by a gazillion, gave him everything I could, and despite it all, he doesn't want me in his life. CD or not, they are old enough and smart enough to know what they're doing.</p><p></p><p>Maybe they'll "wake up" one day. Maybe they won't. I'm not going to hold my breath anymore.</p><p></p><p>My life is at least half way over, and my youth is gone. What little was left of it, was destroyed by all of this, but I'm not going to let it destroy the rest of my time here. </p><p></p><p>We have to find our way to peace, gratitude and joy in this "new normal".</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/grouphug.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":grouphug:" title="grouphug :grouphug:" data-shortname=":grouphug:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Baggy Bags, post: 738020, member: 22819"] I remember the first time I read you thinking "omg, these poor parents! On top of everything, no contact!" And here I am now in the same place. No contact with son for two months, except for one recent call in which he threatened to do "something" if I didn't send him all his clothes. But yes, life does go on. As sad as it is for us that our kids don't want a relationship with us, it is ultimately a choice they make and a choice that they will have to live with. My son, at least, is very mistaken if he thinks I'm sitting in a corner crying all day because he won't talk to me. The tears are there, under the surface, but I'll be damned if I'm going to drown myself in this misery. I tried to get my son back for a year. But it was useless because he was already gone. Maybe I just needed that year to wrap my head around the fact that I loved this person more than I've loved anyone in my life, by a gazillion, gave him everything I could, and despite it all, he doesn't want me in his life. CD or not, they are old enough and smart enough to know what they're doing. Maybe they'll "wake up" one day. Maybe they won't. I'm not going to hold my breath anymore. My life is at least half way over, and my youth is gone. What little was left of it, was destroyed by all of this, but I'm not going to let it destroy the rest of my time here. We have to find our way to peace, gratitude and joy in this "new normal". :grouphug: [/QUOTE]
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