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Crisis coming
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 714922" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I dont see you as a good, long term option for grandkids. In ten years you will be 75 with a 15 year old teen and a ten year old. You cant be healthy or live forever. I would be in the same boat as I am 63.</p><p></p><p>The grands need stability from a younger person and borderlines seldom get better or think they need to change...their wiring is different and not good. It is probably in your best interest never to live with daughter again. It could kill you with stress. Then the grands lose you too. You are too valuable to let stress make you sick.</p><p></p><p>Cps may have to step in...the kids should not keep being dragged into abusive relationships and borderlinesv live drama and abusers are attracted to them snd vice versa. But if the kids are fed and clothed your daughter will probably not lose custody. Nor does it seem living with you changes her and she tends to take off for the first abusive man who winks at her. Commom with borderline.</p><p></p><p>I would worry sbout the grands too and would look for possible longer term solutions than intervals of time with you. Are younger relatives interested in the kids? Is this stepmother of one of the fathers younger and capable? If so, regardless of daughters wishes, this may be best for grands.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry. Often our not so stable adults have children that they reslly cant care for and the grands suffer. It is very sad.</p><p></p><p>I will send love and light to your situation and hope for a solution for tje grands with younger, stable caregivers. Hoping your daughter one day opts for intensive borderline therapy such as dialectal behavioral therapy.</p><p></p><p>Most of all I send prayers for you to find inner peace with a situation which is out of your control. Do something nice for yourself today! Even if it is just a nature walk or gardening or painting or whatever you enjoy doing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 714922, member: 1550"] I dont see you as a good, long term option for grandkids. In ten years you will be 75 with a 15 year old teen and a ten year old. You cant be healthy or live forever. I would be in the same boat as I am 63. The grands need stability from a younger person and borderlines seldom get better or think they need to change...their wiring is different and not good. It is probably in your best interest never to live with daughter again. It could kill you with stress. Then the grands lose you too. You are too valuable to let stress make you sick. Cps may have to step in...the kids should not keep being dragged into abusive relationships and borderlinesv live drama and abusers are attracted to them snd vice versa. But if the kids are fed and clothed your daughter will probably not lose custody. Nor does it seem living with you changes her and she tends to take off for the first abusive man who winks at her. Commom with borderline. I would worry sbout the grands too and would look for possible longer term solutions than intervals of time with you. Are younger relatives interested in the kids? Is this stepmother of one of the fathers younger and capable? If so, regardless of daughters wishes, this may be best for grands. I am so sorry. Often our not so stable adults have children that they reslly cant care for and the grands suffer. It is very sad. I will send love and light to your situation and hope for a solution for tje grands with younger, stable caregivers. Hoping your daughter one day opts for intensive borderline therapy such as dialectal behavioral therapy. Most of all I send prayers for you to find inner peace with a situation which is out of your control. Do something nice for yourself today! Even if it is just a nature walk or gardening or painting or whatever you enjoy doing. [/QUOTE]
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