Oh, so sorry the pastor didn't show up. I agree...no cake! LOL!
Also, be prepared to back up your threat of reporting him to the DYFS worker. It will happen sooner or later anyway.
You will like the AA mtings. Even if you go alone, you'll meet lots of people you like and you'll hear interesting stories that will put things into perspective. DO NOT bring your s-i-l!!!!!! Phooey on her! She's totally enabling him. You need someone who is an advocate for your difficult child and she is only hurting things.
Good luck.