"Daily Terror", or "difficult children and The Joy of PTSD..."

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by witzend, Jan 3, 2007.

  1. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    I get it. You check it to make sure he is safe. When you check it your heart sinks that something magical has not happened with his life yet. I understand. I am sure most of us do. I think everyone is just trying to be supportive.

    I can not imagine what I would do to get info on my difficult child if I had not spoken to her in years. I might go to extremes, frankly. So, I for one, do not believe you are wrong to check it - I just think it may not be the healthiest way to live. Well, not much about having a difficult child is healthy, huh?
  2. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    My brothers middle child - his mom (my bro is his stepdad) no longer wanted to keep him at age 11 when he went into psychiatric hospital. He had been with my bro since his birth. Me and my husband took this nephew into our home and our life.
    We had him till he was 16 and his mom decided while she did not want him, we could not keep him, either. The boy left our home and left the state on his own. That was in 1995. We have not heard one single word from him since. I know he DID follow my husband lead and he joined Marines and was in Iraq 3 times. Me and my children also read his MySpace.and yes, it does bring us some level of comfort to know he is alive, he updates his MySpace. We miss him, love him, worry over him.
    My youngest brother was only 19 when our mom died last year and he lost his dad when he was 11. DUe to many family issues, I had been estranged from the family for several years. Me and my children watched at MySpace to keep up with my youngest brother, and currently are working to build trust and stronger bonds, but it was becuz of MySpace and us being able to post to his MySpace that we reconnected. My youngest brother is 28 years younger than I am, and I had no contact with him except for MySpace since he was 16. Again, I understand he may not post the truth about anything but, yes, seeing him update I at least know he is alive. And now at age 21 he IS slowly letting us into his life some.

    I know my bio dad has always run from family and commitment.....I know absolutely he does not have internet, has NO interest......but I think I might have felt some measure of caring from him if he had EVER shown ANY interest at all in my life.

    Keep doing what you are doing, follow your heart.
  3. OTE

    OTE Guest

    My difficult child isn't 18 for another year. But I'm sure I will be checking in whatever way I can like you are. I can tell you that I cut off my 80 yr old mother and she tries to keep track of me by bribing my difficult child. And I can tell you that the worst I ever did was to drink alcohol on Saturday night for a couple yrs when I reached legal age. Believe me, she never had any reason to worry about me. But I'm 50 and she's still trying to keep tabs. LOL

    Do whatever works for you.

    If you've ever seen the videos of the bad rap music... the picture you describe is what they do on those videos, in the publicity pictures, etc.
  4. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    I understand. When there is no other contact at least knowing they are alive would be some comfort. :frown:

  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    [ QUOTE ]
    So, I for one, do not believe you are wrong to check it - I just think it may not be the healthiest way to live. Well, not much about having a difficult child is healthy, huh?

    [/ QUOTE ]


    I think it is the choice of a lesser of two evils. Knowing he's being stupid, or wondering if he is a robber/rapist/murderer/burglar. I choose knowing.