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Daughter in abusive relationship
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<blockquote data-quote="Wish" data-source="post: 734510" data-attributes="member: 23140"><p>Thank you so much everybody. I will try to answer everyone's questions the best that I can.</p><p></p><p>Swot, I am getting a security system, equipt with 4 starlight cameras ($1,800.00) installed on Monday. They were suppose to come today but they cancelled, I was very disappointed about that to say the least, especially since they took a $1,100 deposit. I do not have a husband but I do have a male roommate, so that does help a little bit.</p><p></p><p>RN- Yes, it was very scary. I don't remember being that scared for my physical safety in quite a long time. Her father is deceased. My brother, her uncle, has confronted boyfriend and boyfriend never learned. My brother is pretty scary and he did not phase boyfriend at all....which tells you boyfriends state of mind...crazy. My brother has given up because she keeps going back to him. Yes, she has a job, very hard worker, goals and she pushes herself to do all these amazing things. She put herself in counciling over a year ago, she does yoga and spiritual healing stuff. She really gives a great effort into finding other things to do.....but she cannot shake him out of her mind for good which is where Swot is right about the addictin to this abusive boy (I refuse to call him a man because he is far from it. Very emotionally immature)</p><p></p><p>Tired mama, thank you and no she does not have a sister.</p><p></p><p>Tough lovin - Yes he is very scary. It seems as he gets older, he is losing it more and more. He is not getting any better. I am convinced that he is going to wind up in prison for something terrible and of course it goes without saying I hope it has nothing to do with my daughter <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>Applecori, yes I told her that if she called me for help, I will be sending the cops...which leads me into this....</p><p></p><p></p><p>Any time my daughter came to me about any of this, she made me swear not to do anything or say anything. I had been forced into silence and not being able to do anything (which is a horrible feeling I wish on no mother). I did not want to push her away and push her into further harm if I did do something about his abuse if she wasn't planning to leave him for good. I know his anger and if I fought him with everything I had, he would have taken it out onto HER, which he has done several times because sometimes I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. It's so disgusting that this is my reality.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This very last time was enough. After I rescued her (again) from the last time, she started blaming ME for screaming the "blood curdling scream". Yeah......wrap your minds around that one. I screamed because seeing her boyfriend, after he pushed me and came after me like he was going to hit me, start to run full force at her knowing he was going to tackle her or hit her (keep in mind the cops were there just an HOUR before that so for him to be this brazen, I knew he was crazy and would risk anything) so I had no idea what else to do other then scream at the top of my lungs (we were outside) and that stopped him in his tracks because they were use to keeping me silent. That scream startled the ever living poop out of him....but I am not naive enough to think that would work again. In any case, after a week I finally got my daughter out of that thinking that I should have not screamed. I mean, isn't this insanity? I am not going to lie either about the fact that how she could go back to a man who would put his hands on her mother, call her vile names and flat out have no respect for. This is very hard to grapple with.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, I am not being silent anymore. She knows this and I'm thinking so does he. If he comes to my home in anger, I am prepared to protect her, myself and my home by any means neccessary because he has literally left me no other choice. He has shown that he has no way to control his anger or himself. I pray for him that he does not make that mistake, I really do.</p><p></p><p>I am going to see about the domestic violence helplines. Maybe they can really help. I can't keep going through these emotions. I've been doing this for four years with her. Four. I can't do anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wish, post: 734510, member: 23140"] Thank you so much everybody. I will try to answer everyone's questions the best that I can. Swot, I am getting a security system, equipt with 4 starlight cameras ($1,800.00) installed on Monday. They were suppose to come today but they cancelled, I was very disappointed about that to say the least, especially since they took a $1,100 deposit. I do not have a husband but I do have a male roommate, so that does help a little bit. RN- Yes, it was very scary. I don't remember being that scared for my physical safety in quite a long time. Her father is deceased. My brother, her uncle, has confronted boyfriend and boyfriend never learned. My brother is pretty scary and he did not phase boyfriend at all....which tells you boyfriends state of mind...crazy. My brother has given up because she keeps going back to him. Yes, she has a job, very hard worker, goals and she pushes herself to do all these amazing things. She put herself in counciling over a year ago, she does yoga and spiritual healing stuff. She really gives a great effort into finding other things to do.....but she cannot shake him out of her mind for good which is where Swot is right about the addictin to this abusive boy (I refuse to call him a man because he is far from it. Very emotionally immature) Tired mama, thank you and no she does not have a sister. Tough lovin - Yes he is very scary. It seems as he gets older, he is losing it more and more. He is not getting any better. I am convinced that he is going to wind up in prison for something terrible and of course it goes without saying I hope it has nothing to do with my daughter :( Applecori, yes I told her that if she called me for help, I will be sending the cops...which leads me into this.... Any time my daughter came to me about any of this, she made me swear not to do anything or say anything. I had been forced into silence and not being able to do anything (which is a horrible feeling I wish on no mother). I did not want to push her away and push her into further harm if I did do something about his abuse if she wasn't planning to leave him for good. I know his anger and if I fought him with everything I had, he would have taken it out onto HER, which he has done several times because sometimes I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. It's so disgusting that this is my reality. This very last time was enough. After I rescued her (again) from the last time, she started blaming ME for screaming the "blood curdling scream". Yeah......wrap your minds around that one. I screamed because seeing her boyfriend, after he pushed me and came after me like he was going to hit me, start to run full force at her knowing he was going to tackle her or hit her (keep in mind the cops were there just an HOUR before that so for him to be this brazen, I knew he was crazy and would risk anything) so I had no idea what else to do other then scream at the top of my lungs (we were outside) and that stopped him in his tracks because they were use to keeping me silent. That scream startled the ever living poop out of him....but I am not naive enough to think that would work again. In any case, after a week I finally got my daughter out of that thinking that I should have not screamed. I mean, isn't this insanity? I am not going to lie either about the fact that how she could go back to a man who would put his hands on her mother, call her vile names and flat out have no respect for. This is very hard to grapple with. Anyway, I am not being silent anymore. She knows this and I'm thinking so does he. If he comes to my home in anger, I am prepared to protect her, myself and my home by any means neccessary because he has literally left me no other choice. He has shown that he has no way to control his anger or himself. I pray for him that he does not make that mistake, I really do. I am going to see about the domestic violence helplines. Maybe they can really help. I can't keep going through these emotions. I've been doing this for four years with her. Four. I can't do anymore. [/QUOTE]
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