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Parent Emeritus
Daughter is homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 749317" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think the first thing that needs to happen is that you allow yourself to stabilized and protect yourself. This is a trauma symptom. You are traumatized and she is your trigger. Before you can handle this situation you need to find a way to make boundaries inside of your psyche and personal space. And then after that comes an interval of recovery.</p><p></p><p>Some mothers have changed phone number, blocked numbers, designated a specific time of a couple of hours a week, and held to it, or refused to interact all together for the time required to heal. I did that.</p><p></p><p>This will take work. Work to make yourself the person who is cared about, nurtured, protected at all costs. You are the one who needs to wake up that what is happening to you is wrong. Your soul and body matter too. Right now you have abandoned yourself.</p><p></p><p>This is a cycle. You no sooner leave one crisis but you anticipate the next.</p><p>Somehow this cycle of your addiction to this crisis state needs to be broken. It is not your fault. We become the effect of our children, instead of independent people.</p><p>You are in a constant state of disinformation. I don't know if you remember that word. I think it is from the Cold War with Russia. And it refers to a constant fog of lies and manipulation with which the authorities would barrage the population, so that the real truth of things would be distorted. The effect would be the people would lose their power, have no sense of reality, and be disoriented and thus easily manipulated and controlled.</p><p></p><p>This is the effect on us if we live psychically tethered to our troubled children. This, more than anything else, needs to be changed.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you are here with us. Welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 749317, member: 18958"] I think the first thing that needs to happen is that you allow yourself to stabilized and protect yourself. This is a trauma symptom. You are traumatized and she is your trigger. Before you can handle this situation you need to find a way to make boundaries inside of your psyche and personal space. And then after that comes an interval of recovery. Some mothers have changed phone number, blocked numbers, designated a specific time of a couple of hours a week, and held to it, or refused to interact all together for the time required to heal. I did that. This will take work. Work to make yourself the person who is cared about, nurtured, protected at all costs. You are the one who needs to wake up that what is happening to you is wrong. Your soul and body matter too. Right now you have abandoned yourself. This is a cycle. You no sooner leave one crisis but you anticipate the next. Somehow this cycle of your addiction to this crisis state needs to be broken. It is not your fault. We become the effect of our children, instead of independent people. You are in a constant state of disinformation. I don't know if you remember that word. I think it is from the Cold War with Russia. And it refers to a constant fog of lies and manipulation with which the authorities would barrage the population, so that the real truth of things would be distorted. The effect would be the people would lose their power, have no sense of reality, and be disoriented and thus easily manipulated and controlled. This is the effect on us if we live psychically tethered to our troubled children. This, more than anything else, needs to be changed. I am glad you are here with us. Welcome. [/QUOTE]
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