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Parent Emeritus
Daughter Voluntarily At Treatment Center... I Am Skeptical
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 755461" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I am sorry about your daughter and this is hard. But, really, it is her days, not yours. You have no way of controlling this adult daughter nor to stop your parents from giving her money if they want to. I say this a lot but it's hard to accept...there is one person we can change in this world and that would be only us.</p><p></p><p> That is why letting go is so important. No matter what we do for our kids or how much we allow our kids reckless lifestyles to disrupt our lives, we have not one iota of a way to change what they do. So "helping" doesn't work and worrying ourselves sick changes nothing. I have experience doing both! </p><p></p><p>The first step in Al Anon is powerful. "We acknowledge that we are powerless over the addict and that our life has become unmanageable." Think about it. It is true for us and a good first step in our own recovery from codependence. I love Al Anon and Nar Anon. Both are really the same. The Twelve Steps helped me let go and find some peace. Before I had none.</p><p></p><p>I really don't think that I believed that letting go of my daughter was better than trying to rescue her to good health. So I overdid it and I have a lot less retirement money now and my daughter keeps getting worse. I know that terrible things can happen to her, but these days I use tools from my box not to think so much because I have no way to prevent anything nor can I predict her future.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can find a way to find peace in this. You deserve to be well and happy. Sending prayers and hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 755461, member: 23706"] I am sorry about your daughter and this is hard. But, really, it is her days, not yours. You have no way of controlling this adult daughter nor to stop your parents from giving her money if they want to. I say this a lot but it's hard to accept...there is one person we can change in this world and that would be only us. That is why letting go is so important. No matter what we do for our kids or how much we allow our kids reckless lifestyles to disrupt our lives, we have not one iota of a way to change what they do. So "helping" doesn't work and worrying ourselves sick changes nothing. I have experience doing both! The first step in Al Anon is powerful. "We acknowledge that we are powerless over the addict and that our life has become unmanageable." Think about it. It is true for us and a good first step in our own recovery from codependence. I love Al Anon and Nar Anon. Both are really the same. The Twelve Steps helped me let go and find some peace. Before I had none. I really don't think that I believed that letting go of my daughter was better than trying to rescue her to good health. So I overdid it and I have a lot less retirement money now and my daughter keeps getting worse. I know that terrible things can happen to her, but these days I use tools from my box not to think so much because I have no way to prevent anything nor can I predict her future. I hope you can find a way to find peace in this. You deserve to be well and happy. Sending prayers and hugs. [/QUOTE]
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Daughter Voluntarily At Treatment Center... I Am Skeptical
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