Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Dazed and Confused Thanks Giving
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 721641" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>lbl. your son sounds very capable. but self-serving, selfish and manipulative,at this point of his life.</p><p></p><p>our job as parents now is to be moral authorities. to me that means to not permit my son mistreat me or to mistreat himself with my help.</p><p></p><p>we know how much i struggle to not control the situation, or give him safe harbor for reasons that serve me, not him. </p><p></p><p>i doubt myself. that is to say , when he becomes homeless again, i believe i will bring him back to live in the other house, the one he destroyed.</p><p></p><p>if i do this, when i do, it will in large part be self-serving. </p><p></p><p>i have learned that forcing my son to sink or swim does not help. but people do have to learn to accept the bed they make. until they learn the lessons they ignore.</p><p></p><p>life has to be a conversation. not imposing one's will and rubbing faces in dirt. we see how that worked out for harvey weinstein.</p><p></p><p>by letting your son break agreements, trash you by his behavior and thumb his nose at your rules and well-being is to help perpetuate that very behavior. you have always known that. </p><p></p><p>you have to justify yourself to nobody. you are his parents. he is an adult. he is bullying you. you would not tolerate it when he was 10. you will not now.</p><p></p><p>end of story.</p><p></p><p>this is not the last word. he will have a chance to respond. when the reality of his real life hits him.</p><p></p><p>in my mind what you propose is good parenting.</p><p></p><p>i have a lot of hope for him. if he has to leave. he needs to experience the kind of bed he gets when he acts as he does.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 721641, member: 18958"] lbl. your son sounds very capable. but self-serving, selfish and manipulative,at this point of his life. our job as parents now is to be moral authorities. to me that means to not permit my son mistreat me or to mistreat himself with my help. we know how much i struggle to not control the situation, or give him safe harbor for reasons that serve me, not him. i doubt myself. that is to say , when he becomes homeless again, i believe i will bring him back to live in the other house, the one he destroyed. if i do this, when i do, it will in large part be self-serving. i have learned that forcing my son to sink or swim does not help. but people do have to learn to accept the bed they make. until they learn the lessons they ignore. life has to be a conversation. not imposing one's will and rubbing faces in dirt. we see how that worked out for harvey weinstein. by letting your son break agreements, trash you by his behavior and thumb his nose at your rules and well-being is to help perpetuate that very behavior. you have always known that. you have to justify yourself to nobody. you are his parents. he is an adult. he is bullying you. you would not tolerate it when he was 10. you will not now. end of story. this is not the last word. he will have a chance to respond. when the reality of his real life hits him. in my mind what you propose is good parenting. i have a lot of hope for him. if he has to leave. he needs to experience the kind of bed he gets when he acts as he does. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Dazed and Confused Thanks Giving
Top