DGD is to check in to rehab in 3 days

[ksm]

She texted about 2 hours ago that she was coming home. Still waiting. Hoping we can take her tomorrow. It's an hours drive to get there... newksm.

 

[Copabanana]

Dear ksm

I hope she is home by now and you get her there tomorrow, safely.

 

[ksm]

A new day...same eternal question...will she go today? Yesterday she came home about 11am, continued to pack, took a shower and left "for one more quick goodbye to a friend". Was to be back in an hour. 3 hours later, she texted she wanted to stay here, get clean on her own, she would let me drug test her, she didn't want to "waste" a rehab attempt, but she would go later, if she couldn't do it. I texted back that she needed to go to rehab, and if she didn't, she could not stay here. That it was not my job to monitor her and I thought she needed professional help. She said "okay". Then, I wasn't sure she meant okay she will go to rehab, or okay she moves out. She finally returned home after 10pm. She said she will go today. Her car is still here...so that is a sign. In 6 days, she didn't come home at all for almost 5 days. And very little time with her child yesterday,

While I hope today is the day...I try not to get my expectations up... newksm

 

[lovemysons]

Still hoping and praying ksm.

 

[ksm]

And another wasted day... she was sick...thought she had an Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) so finally went to walk in clinic in the afternoon. Then came home and slept.

My son (her dad) texted me to see if she went to rehab and I texted him she hadn't and was sick. He must have texted her to encourage her to go tomorrow. Well, that upset her so she dropped some f bombs and went back to her room.

husband said he would tell her that she has to l go tomorrow or stay elsewhere. Not sure how that will affect if she leaves son with us.

I hate this. Newksm

 

[Crayola13]

If she really has a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), I hope it passes quickly. Those are brutally painful. Do you think she would make up a story?

 

[ksm]

I don't think so...the doctor ordered an RX...and we picked it up.

 

[ksm]

I worry about the Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) because by the drugs. I have read they can cause kidney infection and Urinary Tract Infection (UTI).

 

[Crayola13]

Yes, there is data to back it up. Meth users are much more likely to have problems with the bladder.

 

[Copabanana]

In 6 days, she didn't come home at all for almost 5 days. And very little time with her child yesterday,

While I hope today is the day...I try not to get my expectations up..

Good morning, ksm.

I think we must get our expectations up. For them and for ourselves, and in your case for GGS. When I look back at the last 10 years with my son, it has been a long slow dance that he has led. And what did it lead to? Degradation, despair, and desolation. For all. I did not help him or myself. I only submitted myself to carnage.

I have not heard from nor have I been able to contact my son for at least a month. He could have lost his phone, but I doubt it. I think he is blocking me. It may be that he has finally accepted that we are toxic to one another.

What I am trying to say here is that the damage runs both ways. When it goes past a certain point, we hurt them by trying to use (sacrificing) our bodies and lives for theirs.

They know that they have autonomy even though they can't handle it responsibly. They have and want free will. This is why it is so hard for all of us to prevail. We know they can't handle the consequences of the way they live their lives. And they know it too. And yet until they are forced to live the consequences of their lives, they have no real skin in the game. In a sense, this is a law of gravity that I have refused to accept.

Your granddaughter must be allowed to live with the consequences of her choices. That is what I have been unable to bear with my son. I couched it to myself as support. If I face the truth, it was the inability to make a boundary.