Welcome to the board amelia, I'm so glad you found us.
First can I have a little background on your daughter.........was she born blind, or did she lose her sight for some reason? Does she have any other diagnosis' along with the depression?
Travis is legally blind. Up until the age of 6 he had normal 20/20 vision. At 6 1/2 it suddenly dropped to 20/100 in the right eye and 20/60 in the left (good eye). By age 9 or 10 he was 20/200 corrected in the right eye and 20/100 uncorrected in the left and by then we figured out he had double vision that docs couldn't seem to correct no matter what they tried. By 14 we discovered the uncorrectable double vision and vision loss was due to damage to his optic nerves, didn't really have anything to do with the "eye" itself. His right eye is now off the chart. He has colorful blur if that. Left eye is now 20/200. Double vision is still there. Actually I think it's worse now but it's been a few years since his last exam, no insurance. We learned at 18/19 that the damage to his optic nerves was caused by strokes, when he had a fairly large stroke that caused right facial paralysis.
Travis also has cerebral palsy with significant brain damage, tourettes syndrome, epilepsy, and polycythemia which is a rare blood disorder that causes his bone marrow to produce too many blood cells which causes clots to form. The cause of his strokes. And he's autistic.
But he's also the most stubborn child (just like his Mom, only I'm more so) you'd ever meet. I've never treated him differently due to his dxes or disabilities. Well, he did have to quit soccer after a year because it was a bit too much contact sport, but he did play for the year. He's only now beginning to actually "get" that he is disabled and that there are limits to what he can do.
In high school he attended a tech school that taught him computer programming and hardware. He graduated on the honor roll. He couldn't take his test because the state wouldn't modify the test for him. (for his A++ certification) So he decided he'd go for his degree. At 18 he talked about it, a LOT. I told him what he needed to do and left it at that. My kids were taught if they wanted to attend college it was up to them to make it happen both in paperwork and with the loans. At 19 he talked about it some more......got the application filled out......never got around to sending it in. At 20 he got the application in, got as far as figuring out the dorm situation.......forgot he'd need loans......... At 21 he finally managed the entire process on his own, the application, the loans, the dorm arrangements for handicap students (he attended a college that was built to accommodate the handicap) and signed up for classes. And I held my breath while he went off to college, alone for the first time in his life in a major city. (we live in a small rural town) He not only took classes but took fencing (yes, OMG fencing!), he walked anywhere he couldn't get a ride, sometimes many miles. He made it through the whole year before realizing that a 4 yr college was just too expensive for classes he could take at a jr college.
He was a full time cashier at walmart for more than a year. He was floor maintenance for kroger running the big waxer machine for more than year. All during this time for fun he develops video games with others online. He also plays tennis. Don't ask me
how he plays........cuz I dunno. LOL
We did have some wars over driving. Heck, we had wars over him riding his bike, which he just finally gave up about 2 yrs ago. It's only been 3 yrs that he uses his cane most of the time. That was another challenge. Had to have the Cincy assoc for the blind come with a therapist to train him on the cane.......and he was not a happy camper. Therapist said to leave it be, it was normal and he'd come around in his own time. Sure enough he was right. He came around shortly before going off to college.
Right now he's on academic probation because he refuses to use the disability office for help. Due to the brain damage he has issues that severely handicap him in english.......and he seriously needs the help. You can't get a degree without english, yet he can't pass english because writing those papers is like climbing a mountain for him. Of course the eye thing does nothing to help either.
Like I said before, we're rural small town. We have taxi's but you have to reserve them to use them with about 2 wks notice. (they're that much in demand, we don't have many) I'm not his taxi service. If he wants to go somewhere, he walks. He walks the mile to the library and the mile home. He walks the 2 miles to the tennis court and the 2 mile home. He doesn't complain because if he does I remind him walking is healthy. And he knows if I'm going somewhere and he wants to go he can ride along. I just don't make extra trips.
I stumbled upon the Cincy Association for the Blind totally by accident. No one even told me it existed. They not only gave Travis his cane for free with training, they gave him a lot of other equipment to help him while working and while on his computer for free.
I've never had an issue with Travis thinking he couldn't do something. I think some of that is his personality, he can't stand that his sisters can do things he can't. And some is because I've never put limits on what he can do except the driving, which of course I had no choice. He's always had chores, in fact he still does.....plus he helps me around the house. Sure he can't drive, but he has legs and he can still walk. That we are a smaller town makes this somewhat easier depending on where he wants to go. Although he's made endless trips clear across town on foot.
Without some background on your daughter I'm hesitant to advise because I'm not sure what you've tried.
I never did therapy for Travis because quite frankly, it was useless. His issues weren't going to go away, in fact they will worsen with time, he had to learn to accept it and cope with it in his own time and in his own way........all I could do was treat him like I would anyone else and support and encourage him. It was hard at times, lord knows, just the war over the drivers license lasted 2 years alone and I swear I had to
prove to him the state would not give him a license. That one came as an awful blow, and it did his male ego no favors either. But he finally managed to get through it and accept it. Enough walking into walls and nearly getting run over by oncoming traffic motivated him to use the cane, that up until then basically sat in a corner of the dining room. Enough crashes on his bike finally convinced him it was best to park it forever, which finally got through to him if you can't ride a bike without wrecking you can't drive a car without wrecking.
I'm going to guess that her vision loss is somewhat recent and not a life long thing? Is that the cause of the depression? (if it is it is fairly normal by the way)
If she is not motivated to do anything, perhaps you're not giving her the proper motivation. Such as she wants to go somewhere, then either she needs to do x or she needs to walk. Travis went to work because at a certain age I stop buying clothing ect for my kids. Go to work or go naked. Want a new video game, get a job. I don't see where motivating a legally blind child is really any different than motivating any difficult child child or even typical child for that matter. They have limits with their vision, true, but she won't
know what those limits are unless she pushes the envelope to find out. There are blind folks working in all sorts of fields. And she won't be motivated to push those limits if she can, now that she's graduated college, sit at home and resume being the perpetual teen. (cuz she'll fall right back into that role if you let her) She has a college degree. Why is she not using it? Can she get full time employment for that degree? Was it something she wanted to do? Travis, once he has his, has the issue that there is not much in the way of jobs in his field in a small town.........but we're an hour from 3 major cities, and he can learn bus routes and he can walk. Due to college I know he can live fairly independently. He can cook, clean, and pay bills. I mean, he'll have to be checked on from time to time but that is due to the autism more than the vision. I don't see any reason your daughter
can't live independently.
I'll admit before Travis went to college I had accepted the fact he'd probably never live on his own. He went off to college to find out. He roomed with 3 other guys, one completely blind, and 2 that were not handicapped they put in to help them. He had to cook, clean, do his own laundry, get himself up to class, shop for groceries ect. He either rode the bus or walked where he needed to go. He proved to both himself and to me that he
can live independently.
I think when we have a disabled child, we have to be very careful not to put limits on them. I don't think we mean to necessarily, we just have their welfare at heart. But kids can pick up on the fact that those around them doubt their ability, and it can cause them to doubt themselves......to decide that if others think they can't then what is the point in trying at all? Other than the independent thing with Travis, I did pretty well on no limits. That one was a tough one to get past. I was scared to death when he went to college. No joke. But I had to let go and let him try.
What would you do if you had a "normal" 24 yr old only working part time and sitting home playing video games with no motivation to do anything else? (I ask myself this question alot by the way lol Helps me keep it in perspective)
((hugs))